The greatest fan mail ever sent...?!

Diary of a stand-up comedian Entry #57
This is a bona fide, genuine email that I received today from one of my 'fans' - perhaps the greatest email I have ever been sent in my life...

Dear Steven, 

I hope this mail of mine finds you all fine n' well. I am a big fan of yours and your comedy. You are a magician of a writer and a true jokesmith!!! I love the great pleasantry ambiance that you so awesomely create with your wonderful jokes. You are making the world a better place with your ever supply of laughter and comedy. I was humbly wondering could I please get a DVD of yours containing a personalized autograph of you please? I know the request of such is very high, but I live so far way from there, I live in a small country called Bangladesh. The chance of me seeing you live is almost zero. In fact I live in whole another continent! It would mean a lot to me. I adore your writings, like millions out there, and I am just a fan of your thundering stand-up comedy. 

Look forward to hear from you. 

Your fan & Best Regards, Obaid

I think a signed copy of The Drought could be on it's way to Obaid!

Reader review on Goodreads calls The Drought a "laugh-out loud" very funny book!

Today I spotted a new review for The Drought on Goodreads. Reviewer 'Kumara' calls The Drought 'laugh-out loud' funny and gave it a four-star rating! I have copy and pasted the review below, and you can check out all the Goodreads reviews by clicking here. 

Goodreads Reader Review #1
This book is as funny as hell, laugh out loud funny at times. The story follows the misadventures of Daniel Hiiles following his break up with his long term girlfriend and his attempts to end his drought with members of the opposite sex. This book is a lads book but never sinks as low as lads magazines like nuts tend to, only Dan's friend Jack comes close to this which might be why he was the only character in the book I did not like. The one liners in the book are spot on and needed to be with a main character who tends to speak before he thinks. Dan himself is a very likeable main character although has got to be one of the unluckiest people I have come across in a novel in a long time. There are some difference between men and women cliches like women not understanding the offside rule and men hating shopping but it does not take away from what is such a funny novel. It is very rare that a book makes me laugh the way this one did which is the highest complement I can give this book.

What is lad-lit? Move over girls, the boys are coming!

So what is lad-lit?

Often referred to as dick-lit by our American cousins, lad-lit is best known as male equivalent of chick-lit. It is books about men by men. Like my very own novel The Drought, lad-lit typically explores the male psyche, especially around subjects such as friendship, relationships, love, and sex.

The undisputed king of the genre has to be Nick Hornby, who has penned novels such as Fever Pitch, About a Boy, and High Fidelity. Hornby has carved out a career writing about themes often associated with chick lit novels from a man's point of view.

And that was my sole purpose for writing The Drought. I got sick and tired of being forced to endure countless hours of mind-numbing chick flicks at the hands of my girlfriend. I would watch the male characters on screen and inside I would be screaming a man wouldn't do that!

For example, you know that bit in the film when the guy realises that he actually is in love with the girl so he rushes off to airport to stop her jetting off out of his life? That wouldn't happen! You know why? Because the bloke would get too caught up playing Grand Theft Auto and would miss the train to Gatwick! Besides, he could always send her a text or Facebook her later on. 

And the part when the woman gazes into the man's eyes and he takes her in his arms and makes sweet passionate love to her all night long as Boys II Men plays in the background? Forget about it! The only song playing in our head at that point is Celebration by Kool and the Gang! And we never call it making love!

I wanted to write a light-hearted story about a bunch of  normal everyday blokes and stick them in the middle of a chick lit situation and allow my own versions of the tale to unfold. And the result? Normally it tends to be hilarious, sometimes downright cringy situations, but always brutally honest. And that's because we're men! When a woman says to us If you really loved me, you would know what to do, we genuinely think the correct thing to do is to go to the football with our mates rather than stay and celebrate our four-year anniversary of the first time we slept with each other. After all, it's not a proper anniversary if you can't get a Hallmark card to celebrate it!

Nick Hornby is not the only author flying the lad lit flag. Danny Wallace and Mike Gayle have both written best-selling novels telling the story from a male perspective. You just have to pick up a copy of Shortlist magazine each week to read the fantastic ramblings from Wallace in his award-winning column Danny Wallace is a Man. Lad lit is becoming increasingly popular and new writers, such as Nick Spalding and Matt Dunn, are now frequently seen flying up the eBook charts.

For me, lad lit isn't necessarily confined to stories about love and relationships, and you will find that the books I review on this site are both fiction and non-fiction stories that I feel would have a broader appeal to men. 

If you would like to read more about lad lit and books for men, then check out Steve's Book Reviews.

Lad Lit Book Reviews: The Book With No Name by Anonymous (The Bourbon Kid 1)

Imagine a story about gangsters, Kung-Fu Monks, an Elvis-impersonating bounty hunter, and swarms of vampires all living in a world that is a cross between The Lost Boys and From Dusk Til Dawn (and not a Twilight reference in sight)! Do I really need to say anything else to get you excited?!

Ok, I suppose I better had otherwise it would be a pretty pointless review...!

Miles Jensen is a detective in the mould of Fox Moulder from the X-Files, and he is sent to the lawless town of Santa Mondega to investigate a spate of vicious murders. Unbeknown to Detective Jensen is that the root of all this evil is down to a mysterious blue stone known as The Eye of the Moon and all of the low-lifes and blood-sucking creatures of the night that prowl Santa Mondega will stop at nothing to get their hands on it. 

It soon becomes very apparent that all of the victims have one thing in common - they have all read the ancient Book With No Name and not one of them has lived to tell the tale. Detective Jensen will need to piece together all the clues if he is to work out what the hell is going on, and he meets some very strange characters in the process, including The Bourbon Kid - who just happens to be a serial killer, blasting his way through the undead, but not before he has a sampled a shot of his beloved whiskey!

A special mention has to go to my favourite character - Sanchez the bartender. The guy is such a weasel, but you can't help but like his self-obsessed and bleak outlook on life. Then again, if you owned a bar and all your clientele were blood suckers, you probably wouldn't be too happy-go-lucky yourself!

This book packs a punch from the very first page and is laced with black humour that will have you chuckling away despite all the blood, gore, and guts that comes in between. The author, who remains anonymous to add further intrigue to the story, manages to convey his story in such a way that it is never a chore to read, and you are always looking forward to picking it up again.

The quickest way I can sum up The Book With No Name is by calling it a Quentin Tarantino movie in the making. It is such a pleasant change to read a proper good old-fashioned vampire story without a ridiculous love triangle splattered all over it. And if that ticks all the boxes for you then make sure you get yourself a copy of this book! 

The rules for a lads road trip: The 10 Commandments

This is an official book excerpt from comedy novel The Drought. This taken from Chapter 15: Jack's 10 Commandments. At this point in the story the main character, Dan Hilles, has spent 132 days on his sex drought! Desperate to put an end to his barren spell, his friends have planned a lads road trip to Brighton.
As Dan is sitting in his office on the Friday afternoon before the trip, he receives an email from his friend Jack, who has taken it upon himself to declare the rules of the road rip!

Any guy that has been on a road trip knows that there have to be a set of rules that each member must live by, whether it is about picking up chicks or simply drinking copius amounts of alcohol. What follows here is a set of instructions any group of lads embarking on a road trip can follow. Enjoy!


The rules of the road trip by Jack Chatham taken from The Drought
With the clock ticking away, it’s time to start planning the most slut-infested, drink-fuelled, condom-wearing, STD risk-taking, non-dry-humping, two days of our lives.

Now as you all know, Dan has endured five months of torture. So once the Big Guns invade Brighton, it’s time to make a pact...

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS

1) Let’s get this party rocking. As soon as we arrive, we roll the red carpet out. We let them know in no uncertain terms that the Big Guns have arrived. We dump the bags and hit the bars.

2) It’s not Groundhog Day. No one is allowed to crack on with the same bint for more than one night. You can keep any little tart you meet on reserve in case you blow out, but I ain’t having any of this meeting up two nights running like boyfriend and girlfriend.

3) Chat-up lines. They will be used. I have a list of them to hit the chicks up with! Belters like: My name is Mr Right, somebody told me you were looking for me!

4) The anthem. Every Big Gun should have one. As soon as the DJ plays this little number, each and every Big Gun must drop what they are doing and hit the dance floor. It’s time to cut shapes.

5) High Fives. Before we go out, each and every Big Gun must line-up while I go down the line issuing high fives all round. Standard high fives will be used (nothing fancy like Top Gun).

6) Power ballads. Before you ask – no, I’m not gay! But there is nothing like hitting the open road, closing your eyes tight, clenching your fist, and belting out lyrics of pure raw emotion. I defy anyone to sing Bonnie Tyler's Total Eclipse of the Heart without a tear in your eye.

7) The way of The Hoff. Knight Rider and Baywatch – two absolute rip-snorting gems of TV genius brought to us by one man – David Hasselhoff. What is there not to love about this man? Talking crime-fighting cars, bikini-clad women, awesome super slow-mo running shots, and not to mention a chest rug to be proud of. If we use the way of the Hoff, we won’t go far wrong.

8) Randy van Warmers. Dan, I've got a box full of condoms with your name written all over them so no need to worry about getting chased by sausage dogs this time!

9) The Game. When entering a different postcode, the game begins. You know how it works. You get a point for snogging some old tart, five points for flicking the bean, 10 points if she has a chat with the boy, and 15 points for rumpedy-roo!

10) What happens on tour – stays on tour. Any man who brings a camera to a road trip may be legally castrated and his man-bits thrown to the seagulls to feast on.

Let’s make this one not to forget and help our friend Dan find out whether his winkle still works after all these months! Please print this off and keep it with you at all times. It is imperative that we all know the rules.

Self-Publishing Magazine 'recommends' The Drought!

Nearly 12 months ago I sent a copy of The Drought to Sarah Taylor, the editor of Self-Publishing Magazine to request a review. I had completely forgot all about it until I got home today and found a copy of the magazine on my doormat.

And much to my pleasant surprise, not only had The Drought been reviewed in the Autumn 2012 issue, but it was also the editors 'Recommended' book. Here is the review...


The Drought by Steven Scaffardi
Recommended by Sarah Taylor
The Drought is a hilarious, highly entertaining and completely unfiltered look into the inner workings of the typical male mind! It explores the thoughts, feelings, and opinions of the male brain as they relate to relationships issues, run-of-the-mill blokeish topics, and of course, sex. Readers follow the intimate exploits of average bloke Daniel Hilles as he attempts to break free of the shackles of a previous long-term relationship through various unsuccessful and disastrous attempts at intimacy that have lead to a 'drought'.

Desperate to put an end to this sire situation, Daniel turns to the advice and directions of his closest mates, and ends up making things even worse. Humorous and booze-filled times ensue, painting a striking portrait of male raunchiness and debauchery. Typical and stereotypical male beliefs and values are shared throughout the novel, but not all men will agree with the overtly sexualized outlook in this story. Maybe what Daniel needed, more than typical guy advice, was a bit more common sense and a bit less booze to more rapidly end his drought. With that being said, the novel is a must-read for those that have wondered just what a typical guy thinks about. 

The Drought is a hit for Scaffardi's first novel, is reasonably priced, and the cover quality is superb! 

Top Ten Lad Lit Authors (the male version of chick lit!)

My top 10 lad lit authors!
In a previous post, I attempted to answer the question What is lad lit. Well in this section I am going to attempt to introduce you to of the world of lad lit authors, with a list of some of the most well-known authors in the genre, plus a couple of up-and-coming writers to watch out for...



1. Nick Hornby
The undispited king of lad lit! Hornby has penned some of the great lad lit novels of our time and marked his arrival on the scene with Fever Pitch; a memoir about his obsession with football and Arsenal FC in particular. But it was High Fidelity where Hornby set the benchmark for all aspiring lad lit authors. His tale about thirty-something record shop owner Rob Fleming laid out many of the adult male insecurities with great hilarity. Perhaps the most surprising thing about Hornby is that, despite the huge success of his novels, he has only published six fiction titles since High Fidelity in 1995, with the 2009 novel Juliet, Naked being his latest work.

2. Mike Gayle
Mike Gyale was a features editor and later an agony aunt for girls mags Just Seventeen and Bliss, which probably goes quite some way to explaining why he is so good at understanding the chick lit for men genre. His first book, My Legendary Grlfriend, received fantastic praise and was even heralded as a Bridget Jones Diary for the male audience. Since then Mike's novels have continued to generate great feedback from readers, but some would argue that his style of writing has crossed over from being lad lit to more traditional chick lit author, albeit one that tends to write from the male perspective.

3. Danny Wallace
One of my favourite authors at the moment. Where Danny gets his crazy ideas from are anyones guess, but he writes them so brilliantly that you just can't help but get wrapped up in the story. He is probably best known for Yes Man (which got turned into a Hollywood blockbuster starring Jim Carey) and his award-winning column in Shortlist magazine. But the first Danny Wallace book I read was Friends Like These, where Danny travels around the globe to track down his ex-Primary School classmates. Utterly pointless but totally brilliant at the same time. Danny's recent novel Charlotte Street was his first foray into the world of fiction.

4. Tony Parsons
Tony Parsons is in the same ilk as Nick Hornby, in that he found huge success writing about the trials and tribulations of the thirty-something man. Parsons had written a number of books before he found huge success in 1999 with the multimillion selling novel Man and Boy; the brilliantly engaging novel that follows Harry as he learns to become a father to his son and a son to his aging father, and tries to find love at the same time. Parsons found his niche writing about relationships and often refers to his novels as Men Lit.

5. Nick Spalding
I only recently discovered Nick Spalding, who has enjoyed the successful journey from best-selling indie author to getting a three-book deal with a top publishing house. Another author in the Mike Gayle mould, where there is a very thin line between him being a lad lit or chick lit author. Still, what Spalding does is capture and identify the emotions and feelings from both the male and female characters, as he did so brilliantly with in Love... From Both Sides. It will be interesting to see what he delivers now he has the backing of a big publishing house. I'm watching this space!

6. Matt Dunn
Matt is another one of those authors that I have only recently just come across since I started to delve a bit deeper into the lad lit genre. I haven't read any of of his books yet, but he has had great success with his contemporary romantic comedy novels including Best Man and The Ex-Boyfriend's Handbook, which was shortlisted for both the Romantic Novel Of The Year award, as well as the Melissa Nathan Award for Comedy Romance. He's also written about life, love, and relationships for various publications including The Times, Guardian, Cosmopolitan, Company, Elle, Glamour, and The Sun.

7. Ben Mezrich
Ben Mezrich is perhaps not the most obvious name to jump out at you when you think of typical lad lit, but I add him to this list because he has an uncanny ability to spot real-life stories with male leads, and make you want to be that character! You might be more familiar with Mezrich's work on the big screen as he penned the books which the Hollywood smash hits The Social Network and 21 were based on, which starred Justin Timberlake and Kevin Spacey respectively. What Mezrich does so brilliantly is take a true story and use his artistic freedom to create a a really exciting read, albeit from very interesting stories.

8. Steve Carter
Steve Carter is the author of the number one Kindle smash hit Love, Sex, and Tesco's Finest Cava, which reached number one spot in the UK humour and number one in contemporary romance in March 2011. Another indie author who has proved that you can achieve great sales by going it alone, but other than that I don't know too much else about this author, other than his second novel is called Finding Yourself in Seville.

9. Mil Millington
Mil Millington first came to public prominence when he created a web-site entitled Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About. The site's main content was anecdotes describing arguments and misunderstandings between Mil and his German girlfriend Margret, mother of his two sons. Such was the popularity of this site that Mil was offered a publishing deal, and wrote a novel with the same title as his web-site, but with new content, published in 2002.

10. Steven Scaffardi 
You didn't really expect me to write a top 10 list of lad lit authors without including myself did you?! Okay, so it's a little bit cheeky but with each and every positive reader comment and book review that trickles in, I'm confident and hopeful that my name will one day start to appear on other peoples top ten lad lists in the not too distant future. My debut novel The Drought is often compared to some of the authors I have listed here, which I always take as a huge compliment. And if you don't believe me, then just check out the reviews and comments it has been getting yourself!