Will Smith smashes it on the Graham Norton Show!

For anyone who missed the Graham Norton Show last night, you missed one epic performance from the artist previously known as the Fresh Prince! A year after delighting us by rapping the famous Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song, Will Smith was back on Norton's chat show couch with son Jaden, and this time he brought along old stalwarts DJ Jazzy Jeff and Alfonso Ribeiro AKA Carlton Banks!The result? Sheer TV gold! Check it out...

This performance perhaps surpassed my previous favourite Graham Norton moment when Miriam Margolyes was a guest alongside Will.I.Am in what can only be described as something like having your grandmother sitting alongside one of the world's biggest Hip Hop stars, and everything you'd expect her to say, she pretty much did!

Morgan Freeman falls asleep during interview!

Going... going... gone!

You tend to forget that at 75-years-old, Morgan Freeman is technically old enough to be your grandfather! During those advancing years, two things are for certain: a) you will start to wear your trousers higher than Simon Cowell and b) you'll fall asleep quicker than someone with narcolepsy.

So perhaps we shouldn't be surprised that Freeman decided to catch forty winks whilst being interviewed on live TV about his upcoming movie. As his Now You See Me co-star Michael Caine discussed their latest Hollywood outing with Fox News, Freeman was seen to be nodding off.

Or was he?

The wily old star was quick to rebuff claims he had dozed off as he took to his Facebook to explain what really happened.

"Regarding my recent interview, I wasn't actually sleeping," he explained. "I'm a beta tester for Google Eyelids and I was merely taking the opportunity to update my Facebook page."

He might be eligible for a free bus pass, but like a lot of OAPs, he is still as sharp as a razor.

Top 10 reasons why Duncan Fergsuon should be the next Everton manager!

Following my post earlier this week about Steve McClaren being touted as the next Everton manager (albeit at 66-1 odds!), it got me worked up into a bit of a panic. What happens if my beloved Toffees make the wrong choice or if Bill Kenwright hands the keys to Goodison to the wally with the brolly? The next man in the Goodison Park hot seat has to be the right man - we can't afford to get it wrong!

Let's face the facts - we're skint! We're skinter than a Channel 4 documentary about a council estate in Scunthorpe! We don't have the luxury to hand the new manager a transfer war chest of riches aplenty. If it all goes tits-up and we let the wrong man spend what little cash we have, we really could find ourselves in a tight spot.

So who do we get in? The debate on fans sites such as Toffeeweb and Blue Kipper has been intense and awash with suggestions as to who should lead our mighty club into the next era. Roberto Martinez? Vitor Pereira? Phil Neville? Janice the tea lady? There isn't one clear favourite to take the reins. All we know for sure is that we need a man who will unite the Gladys Street faithful. A man who would die for the royal blue cause. A man who is ingrained in the true meaning of nil satis nisi optimum.

And the more I think about it, the more I believe that man should be Duncan Ferguson! Hell, even our greatest manager of all time, Howard Kendall, backed Big Dunc earlier in the month. So what if he has no managerial experience, and so what if he was known as Duncan Disorderly because of his on-field and off-field antics, and so what if he doesn't win us the league (seriously, we all know that will never happen until we get our very own billionaire in charge of the club).

But just imagine the fun we would have along the way with Duncan in the dugout. So here are my top 10 reasons as to why the big man should be given a crack at the Everton job!

1. The man bleeds Everton

It's old football cliche, but when it comes to Ferguson you just know that he would give his heart and soul to the Everton cause. In a game full of mercenaries, here is one guy we could rely on to show as much passion about that royal blue jersey as every single fan in the Gwladys Street end.

Here is a man who has permanently inked himself with the famous number 9 and our glorious latin motto nothing but the best is good enough. He knows what it means to pull on the Everton shirt, and he would sure as hell make sure every single player in that dressing room knew what it meant as well. 

2. He loves beating Liverpool
If there was one thing about the David Moyes era that most Evertonian's are disappointed about, it's that our record against that lot from across the park was not great. But if one player loved beating Liverpool more than any other, it was Big Dunc! He stole our hearts with his towering header back in 1994, and not once was he on the losing side in his first eight outings against the Kopites. (Granted his record wasn't brilliant when he returned to the club after his brief spell at Newcastle, but we'll glaze over that fact...!)

In total Duncan scored 5 times in 19 outings against Liverpool (for Everton and Newcastle), and who wouldn't love to see the big man racing down the touchline, flashing that famous tattoo at the reds fans after he has lead Everton to victory in his first derby game as manager?

3. We need to get a choke hold on those clubs around us

We finished the 2012/13 season in sixth place - 10 points behind 4th placed Arsenal, nine points behind Spurs in fifth, and 14 points ahead of West Brom who finished eighth. It means that as things stand Everton are in this bizarre, and quite frankly boring, situation where we are battling Liverpool (who finished two points behind us) for the 6th and 7th league position. We've finished above them two seasons running now - time to move on to bigger things!

Tottenham narrowly missed out on that final Champions League space by just one point, and we now must be aiming to close that gap. And who else better to frighten the life out of the team from North London than Duncan Ferguson. Picture the scene as the Spurs assistant manager, Stefan Freund, sees one of his footballing nightmares makes a return to White Hart Lane. Do you think he'd want to go toe-to-toe with Ferguson on the touchline over any contentious decisions?

Cast your mind back to March 2004 when Everton traveled to Leicester City. Ferguson, already on a yellow, received his marching orders four minutes into the second half following a tangle with the German. His response to the dismissal remains one of Duncan's most iconic images - by grabbing Freund around the neck and throttling him!

4. He knows how to rattle the biggest team in the country
Manchester United are the biggest club in the land, perhaps even the world. But that doesn't mean anything to Big Dunc! Seven times Ferguson scored against the Red Devils - more than any other club he played against. If we are to make a serious push for those Champions League places then we need to make sure when we play big teams like United our players don't shrink and are up for the fight.

Ferguson's seventh and final career goal against United came back in 2005 in that famous 1-0 victory over Manchester United on a night when Goodison Park was rocking. Those three points would help the blues to go on and secure 4th spot that season and Champions League football for the first time in the clubs history.

5. He's Scottish, he's a striker, and his name is Ferguson!

Manchester United might like to believe that by appointing David Moyes as their new manager they have secured the next Sir Alex Ferguson in waiting, but we all know the true Fergie successor has been working with our Academy. Dont't we?!

Okay, we are talking about some huge boots to fill - especially for someone with no previous managerial experience - but we all know how good Scottish managers are (tick), we probably all agree that Moyes tended to lean towards the cautious and defensive side due to his playing days as a defender so why not give a striker (like Sir Alex was) a go this time (tick), and his name is Ferguson (tick!). That'll do for me.

6. He knows how important it is to keep Everton in the city

A new ground is vital if we are to move forward as a club, but equally important for the new manager to understand is why the fans are so passionate about keeping Everton in the city.During a rare public statement in 2007, Ferguson has pledged his support to the "Keep Everton in Our City" campaign when he said:

"During my time at Everton, Goodison Park came to feel like a second home, with the supporters of the club, and the people of the city becoming a second family to me. If you were to take Everton out of the City, I firmly believe the club could no longer call itself the 'People's Club' and I give my whole-hearted support to the campaign to keep Everton in the City."

7. He would not stand of any prima donna's
The modern footballer is rich, flash, and act like they are untouchable. As fans we hear countless tales of players acting up or throwing their weight around. A football manager needs to be able to control his players and make sure they toe the line.

You just have to listen to some of the tributes paid to Ferguson from his fellow playing-day pro's to know that he would instantly command respect. And for those who were brave (or stupid) enough to try and take him on, you just have to look at Jimmy Bullard's expression to know that it wouldn't be the best thing to do (or perhaps ask the two burglars who Ferguson tackled at his home in 2001)!

8. Youth is key

Having worked at Finch Farm for the last 2/3 seasons, Duncan Ferguson is familiar with the youth set-up and the importance of bringing young players through at Everton (especially as we have no bloody money!). There are some exciting players coming through the ranks at the moment, including George Green, John Stones, and striker Chris Long, who won the club's Academy Player of the Year award.

Long was quick to praise Big Dunc's input on the coaching ground for his form this season. "It is incredible to have Duncan Ferguson as a coach," Long said. "Working with him every day on the training field has really improved my game."

9. The fans already love him
Duncan Ferguson already enjoys a God-like status amongst the Goodison faithful, so the fans would be willing to afford him a bit more time to stamp his game plan on the club.The bond between fans and the team has always been a cornerstone to the clubs ethos, and bar David Moyes, our most successful managers have been ex-Evertonians.

Harry Catterick, Howard Kendall, and Joe Royle all brought trophies and success to Everton having previously played for the Toffees, and it is a proud tradition which would be fantastic to continue with should Duncan Ferguson be appointed boss.

10. We miss a true number 9

No doubt David Moyes has assembled the best Everton squad we have seen at Goodison Park for many a year, but there is still one piece of the jigsaw missing - a quality striker. One of the few faults directed at Moyes during his time at the club was that he was never able to get the best out of our front men. But in Duncan we have a man who not only understands what it means to be an Everton forward, but he epitomised everything about that famous Everton number nine shirt.

And who knows, there is a certain former Evertonian who is not very happy at his current club and just happens to not only be great friends with Big Dunc, but also worshiped him as a player. What a reunion that would be!

As a treat to all my fellow Evertonian's, you can download my debut comedy eBook The Drought for free by visiting this link and using the code WA65Y.

Top 10 Diary of a Stand-Up Comedian blog posts!

Diary of a stand-up comedian Entry #55
So following on from my not-so-huge bombshell about not having any plans to re-enter the world of stand-up comedy any time soon, I didn't want my (potential) last post in the Diary of a stand-up comedian series to end on a sour note.

So instead I decided to look back with on that 12-months of my life and select my favourite blog posts about my time on the open mic stand-up comedy scene. So here you go - I hope you enjoy my...

Top 10 Favourite Open Mic Comedy Posts

9 SEPTEMBER 2011: DIARY ENTRY #34 1. The Return of the Dwarf and a fond farewell to Openmic Matt at The Railway! My all-time favourite venue to gig was The Railway in Streatham Common. I met some great people and comedians there, and of course the legendary promoter Openmic Matt. This was the last night Matt promoted at The Railway and probably the best.

8 DECEMBER 2011: DIARY ENTRY #50 2. Close, but no cigar... or a winners medal! After my 50th gig and first 12-months on the circuit, I finished runner-up in the final of Great Comedy Night's Golden Jester comedy competition. It was a great way to end the year, but I would ultimately decide that I wouldn't continue pursuing a stand-up career.

5 OCTOBER 2011: DIARY ENTRY #40 3. Top night at Dirty Dicks! I had been performing for 10 months and had just got through to the semi-finals of the Golden Jester. I was starting to get down a good 5-minute set, and then one night at Dirty Dicks it all clicked into place and luckily the night was filmed so I can always look back and think I did alright!

15 SEPTEMBER 2010: DIARY ENTRY #3 4. What a blast! Although I didn't start to regularly appear on the open mic comedy circuit until January 2011, my first official gig was four months earlier. I took a big crowd down to the Cavendish Arms in Stockwell and thought I had made. I'd learn soon enough comedy wasn't that easy!

8 JUNE 2012: DIARY ENTRY #53 5. Back with a bang baby! Three months after I had performed my last stand-up gig, I was asked by a friend if I was take part in a charity night she was hosting in London Bridge. Professional comedian Rob Beckett was on the bill, and it turned out to be one of my most favourite gigs ever!

8 APRIL 2011: DIARY ENTRY #13 6. RIP Steven Scaffardi - the night I died on stage As every comedian will tell you, there are going to be nights when you bomb on stage. The first - and worst - time it happened to me would come in my 10th gig. It was awful but I learned something important that night - don't get blind drunk and go on stage!

15 SEPTEMBER 2012: DIARY ENTRY #55 7. Open mic comedians - where are they now? The girls Gemma Beagley encouraged me to go down to the Cavendish Arms to give comedy a go, and she is still going strong on the circuit, along with some other very funny laides I met along the way such as Harriett Kemsley and Naomi Hefter.

16 DECEMBER 2011: DIARY ENTRY #51 8. The Next Big Thing? After just a week of deciding I was going to take a break from stand-up comedy, I found myself taking part in the Next Big Thing corporate entertainment talent conest in the bright lights of the West End, and I only ended up advancing to the semi-finals of the bloody thing!

14 SEPTEMBER 2012: DIARY ENTRY #54 9. Diary of a stand-up comedian... two years on I like this post because I think it sums up my time spent on the open mic stand-up comedy circuit. It's not easy getting up on that stage, especially on nights when drunk Irish hecklers label you parts of the female anatomy, but I look back fondly on those memories and wouldn't change them for the world!

16 SEPTEMBER 2012: DIARY ENTRY #56 10. Open mic comedians - where are they now? The boys I couldn't give the girls a shout without giving one to the boys now could I?! I'm not surprised to see so many of them doing well, and it was difficult to limit it to just five - maybe I'll post another 'Where are they now?' in the coming weeks...

Next Everton manager to be a Dutchman?

As an Everton fan the last couple of weeks have been quite difficult. David Moyes - our great leader for 11 years - is leaving to join some team who plays in red, which has left Everton searching for a new manager.

I have been glued to Sky Sports News and reviewing the latest odds on our next manager. So when Paddy Power published an article on who will be the next Everton manager, I noticed that they had 'Dutch' manager Steve McClaren in at 66-1 (too short of odds if you ask me!) and this is how they build the pros and cons for him:

The case for:
- May actually be a good manager
- Experienced in British and European football

The case against:
- Hasn’t been a success everywhere he’s gone
- Always comes across like a bit of a nob

I guess they might have a point...!

The comedy boots well and truly hung up!

Diary of a stand-up comedian Entry #54
Last December at the office Christmas party it was decided we were going to have a bit of a Britain's Got Talent theme, which basically meant someone was going to bring in their karaoke machine from home. At the end of the evening it was suggested that I got up and did a short comedy set, seeing as no one in the office had seen me do my comedy before.

Despite the fact I hadn't performed since June 2012, I decided a quick impromptu gig would do no harm, especially as the 30 or so people gathered in the office were fairly pissed at this point and would have laughed if I'd got up in front of them and asked them to pull my finger.

Fast forward another five months and once again I got asked if I'd put my so-called comedy skills to the test again, and this time at an actual work function for clients. Like most companies, we are trying to pull in the purse strings so getting someone from the office to step in and do the entertainment seemed like a good idea at the time.

The work event in question was a media training scheme for media agencies, media owners, and advertisers. We had 35 of the brightest minds from media - from companies such as Zenith Optimedia, MEC Global, Mediacom, Havas, Euronews, Financial Times, and the BBC- attend a two-day training course in Hertfordshire.

After the first day of training we wanted the delegates to wind down, so we put on a pub styled quiz night with yours truly as the host of the evening. Granted some of my material was out of date, but I felt confident I could pull it off. Hell, I even threw in some new material about the advertising world to try and make it a bit more relevant.

But within minutes of being back on that stage I realised my time in the stand-up comedy spotlight was well and truly over. My joke about how bad the Brad Pitt Chanel advert was was met with near total silence, whilst my attempt to describe how a Stella Artois ad campaign around the theme of 'Wife Beater' would be hilarious was anything but that.

Don't move Scaffardi! You're jokes are so bad they're illegal!

What this made me realise was that stand-up comedy requires a lot of work; work I had not put in for over a year. The fact I foolishly believed I could simply get back up that stage with jokes about the London riots from 2011 (material a good two years out of date!) was probably the funniest thing about my set, in an ironic way.

The biggest laugh of the night came when I joked that they had laughed the hardest at the fact that I had died and bombed on stage. That in itself told me everything I needed to know! Back in 2011 when I spent 12 months on the open mic circuit was great fun, and it helped me promote my book at the time, but now it is time for me to stop calling myself a stand-up comedian. I'm a failed trainee stand-up comedian at best!

I'll never forget the memories and experiences of stand-up comedy, but unless I'm prepared to put the work in then it is not fair that I continue to call myself a comedian.

Before you all celebrate, you won't be getting rid of me that easily! I'll still be working on my second novel, and writing down my ramblings on this here blog, but I'll be less inclined to reference myself as a comedian anytime soon!

But just one last thing before I ride off into the sunset with my poor comedic judgment between my legs, let me at least remember a time when I was on the verge of being funny...

You can download my debut comedy eBook The Drought for free by visiting this link and using the code WA65Y.

YouTube Comedy Week sees the return of David Brent!

Yesterday saw the launch of the first ever YouTube Comedy Week. For the next seven days stand-up comedians from both sides of the pond will be pouring out their funny little hearts all for our viewing pleasure.

I was particularly excited about the return of David Brent! Ricky Gervais revives Slough's very own chilled-out entertainer for the first time in a long-running series since The Office ended in 2003. Gervais has previously brought Brent back in cameo roles, but fans will now be treated to a prolonged run of Brentisms in 'Learn Guitar with David Brent'.

Brent kicked off in typical cringe-worthy style today as he treated fans to 'Life on the Road' - a song about his sales repping job.

"I've always been mad," he jokes as he comments on his return, but in classic awkward Brent style puts his politically incorrect foot in it by elaborating: "I don't mean I've suffered mental illness. I haven't touch wood. I wouldn't joke about that. I do know people who have suffered mental illness and they are no fun to be around."

It's great to see one of comedy's greatest characters back, and you can view more laughs at www.youtube.com/comedyweek and on Ricky's very own YouTube channel.