Last year I published a blog called You do judge a book by its cover! where I discussed the importance of a good front cover for your novel. One year on I decided to dig out all the nearly covers that didn't quite make the grade for my debut comedy book The Drought.
I thought it might be nice to share these, all wonderfully designed by Jacqueline Abromeit at Pen Press, and feel free to leave your feedback as to which one was your favourite...
Looking back over all the covers again, I still think I got it right. I remember how excited I was when I saw the design for the first cover, but I think that was because seeing the front cover for your own book starts to bring everything to life a bit more.
But I spoke to friends and on there advice agreed that the design didn't quite capture the tone of the story - it looked a bit like a thriller (minus the heart-shaped plaster of course!). The idea of having a man run towards the image or 'mirage' of a woman in the desert worked, and also looked quite comical.
We also added in some praise The Drought had been given by TV presenters Ortis Deley and Angellica Bell, and the 'Mike Gayle' quote on the front worked really well as it immediately told the reader that my book was in the lad lit or chick lit category.
Now over to you - what is your favourite cover?
Sunday, 17 June 2012
Monday, 11 June 2012
Irish fans sing Home & Away - the best football song ever?
Football fans sometimes get a bit of a bad press about the things they chant from the terraces, but few can deny the genius spare of the moment and impromptu songs that some fans are able to think up on the spot.
I can remember one particular trip to Loftus Road back in the 90s and listening the QPR faithful passionately belt out the lyrics Who needs Cantona, when we've got Devon White. The fact you are probably scratching your head trying to remember who the hell Devon White is speaks volumes.
From the re-workings of Artful Dodger and Craig David's single “Re-Rewind” to create Van Per-sie, when the girl says 'no', molest her to Celtic fans chanting There's only two Andy Gorams at reference to the Rangers keeper being diagnosed as a schizophrenic, football fans have always been quick off the pulse when it comes to sing-a-long banter.
But this week at Euro 2012 when Ireland fans launched into a rendition of the Home & Away theme tune to drown out Croatia fans singing their own footy song on a Poznan tram, surely has to take some beating.
There isn't really much else for me to say other than enjoy...
I can remember one particular trip to Loftus Road back in the 90s and listening the QPR faithful passionately belt out the lyrics Who needs Cantona, when we've got Devon White. The fact you are probably scratching your head trying to remember who the hell Devon White is speaks volumes.
From the re-workings of Artful Dodger and Craig David's single “Re-Rewind” to create Van Per-sie, when the girl says 'no', molest her to Celtic fans chanting There's only two Andy Gorams at reference to the Rangers keeper being diagnosed as a schizophrenic, football fans have always been quick off the pulse when it comes to sing-a-long banter.
But this week at Euro 2012 when Ireland fans launched into a rendition of the Home & Away theme tune to drown out Croatia fans singing their own footy song on a Poznan tram, surely has to take some beating.
There isn't really much else for me to say other than enjoy...
Labels:
Euro 2012
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Football
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Football Fun
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Funny Videos
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Ireland
,
Singing
Friday, 8 June 2012
Back with a bang baby!
Diary of a stand-up comedian Entry #53
A few weeks ago a friend of mine asked if I would be interested in performing stand-up comedy at a charity event she was running for the media company IPC.
I wasn't too sure. I had only performed one gig this year, and that was the semi final of the Next Big Thing comedy competition, which didn't exactly go great! I was happy that my evening's no longer revolved around going to a dingy little pub somewhere in the arse-end of London to perform in front of five people, who either didn't care what I was saying or were too drunk to notice.
I left those crazy nights behind me. I made my decision to take a break from stand-up comedy, and by God I was going to stand by it. Nothing could change my mind.
Then she happened to mention that IPC published Nuts magazine and that a couple of the glamour models that had appeared spread-eagled in the mag were going to be making an appearance.
Well, perhaps I shouldn't be too hasty...!
And I am bloody glad I decided to come out of 'retirement' for the evening! Not because of the scantily-clad babes that made an appearance (they were actually fully-clothed - what a liberty! Plus they didn't even give me a second look - must be lesbians...).
I was pleased I turned up because it was probably the best night I have ever had up on the comedy stage. My set went down a storm (they had no idea I hadn't written any new material in over six months!), and there was a huge audience - all laughing (which is always a bonus...). You just can't beat that feeling of a room full of people laughing at you - unless of course its because you're trousers have fallen down and they are laughing at your little problem. That is never a nice feeling... not that I'm talking from experience or anything!
All the comedians on the night were top notch - from the compere Toby Brown to the headline act Rob Beckett, and it was all in the name of charity of course! Which is nice... :)
Maybe I won't leave it as long next time...
... Then again I do quite like sitting around in my pants doing nowt each evening. Each to their own!
A few weeks ago a friend of mine asked if I would be interested in performing stand-up comedy at a charity event she was running for the media company IPC.
I wasn't too sure. I had only performed one gig this year, and that was the semi final of the Next Big Thing comedy competition, which didn't exactly go great! I was happy that my evening's no longer revolved around going to a dingy little pub somewhere in the arse-end of London to perform in front of five people, who either didn't care what I was saying or were too drunk to notice.
I left those crazy nights behind me. I made my decision to take a break from stand-up comedy, and by God I was going to stand by it. Nothing could change my mind.
Then she happened to mention that IPC published Nuts magazine and that a couple of the glamour models that had appeared spread-eagled in the mag were going to be making an appearance.
Well, perhaps I shouldn't be too hasty...!
And I am bloody glad I decided to come out of 'retirement' for the evening! Not because of the scantily-clad babes that made an appearance (they were actually fully-clothed - what a liberty! Plus they didn't even give me a second look - must be lesbians...).
I was pleased I turned up because it was probably the best night I have ever had up on the comedy stage. My set went down a storm (they had no idea I hadn't written any new material in over six months!), and there was a huge audience - all laughing (which is always a bonus...). You just can't beat that feeling of a room full of people laughing at you - unless of course its because you're trousers have fallen down and they are laughing at your little problem. That is never a nice feeling... not that I'm talking from experience or anything!
All the comedians on the night were top notch - from the compere Toby Brown to the headline act Rob Beckett, and it was all in the name of charity of course! Which is nice... :)
Maybe I won't leave it as long next time...
... Then again I do quite like sitting around in my pants doing nowt each evening. Each to their own!
Friday, 1 June 2012
Promo Trailer for The Drought: Perfecting the First Date!
Stand-up comedian Steven Scaffardi offers his wise words of wisdom on what makes the perfect first with the girls. And to back up his theories, he got a few girls to explain what they think a guy should do (or shouldn't do) on that all important first date. For more laddish fun about a guys point of view on relationships, check out Scaffardi's hilarious debut novel, The Drought! Available now at Amazon and all good bookshops.
Labels:
Book Promo
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Dating
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First Dates
,
Funny Videos
,
Steven Scaffardi Stand-up Video Clip
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The Drought
Thursday, 17 May 2012
Lad Lit Book Reviews: Run by Jeff Abbott
A few years ago I turned up at the airport ready to jet off to Egypt on holiday with the feeling I’d forgotten something. I racked my brains. Had I locked the door? Check. Had I packed my lucky Speedo's? Check. Had I brought along a damn fine book for the beach? Bollocks.
With my flight being called to the gate, I rushed off the WHSmith to grab myself a book. Hot and flustered, I darted past the latest array of D-list celebrity autobiographies they were trying to flog to holidaymakers and locked eyes on one book on the ‘New Releases’ stand. I made my choice based on the fact I myself was in a rush, and picked up the appropriately named Run. I’d not heard of the author before but the fact it was being hailed on the front cover as a ‘Bourne Identity for the 21st Century’ was good enough for me.
Two days into the holiday I realised what an awful mistake I had made picking up this book.
I should have picked up two Jeff Abbott books! I was tearing through the book as quickly as the main character, Ben Fosberg, was tearing up the pages in his attempts to escape the team of Homeland Security Agents who believed he had something to do with an apparent hit on a businessman who happened to be carrying Ben’s business card in his pocket.
My plans of lying in the sun or splashing around in the pool were slowly overtaken by my need to find out the answers to the questions Abbott throws up. Why was Ben was being hounded by these agents? Who is this mysterious stranger known as Pilgrim who has come to Ben’s aid? Does this have anything to do with the murder of his wife whilst on their Honeymoon two years earlier? Has anyone seen my Speedo's?
So much energy goes into this book from the get-go that you even start to feel the strain yourself such is the pace of the action that explodes with each turn of the page. You are left to keep guessing the reasons behind the scenario the main character finds himself in, with twists and turns along the way that keep you asking wondering all the way through who the bad guys really are in this story.
The comparisons to The Bourne Identity are justified, but Abbott is his own man with his own style of writing. The everyday-man personality of his main protagonist allows you to easily slip into that imaginary role and place yourself at the heart of the thrill-ride that is unfolding. It’s a character pattern that Abbott has followed in the majority of his books that I have read since.
It is surely only a matter of time before this book – along with a whole host of Abbott’s back catalogue – start getting picked up by Hollywood movie producers. If you like your action fast-paced and heart-pounding, then you can do little wrong than grab yourself a copy of this book.
With my flight being called to the gate, I rushed off the WHSmith to grab myself a book. Hot and flustered, I darted past the latest array of D-list celebrity autobiographies they were trying to flog to holidaymakers and locked eyes on one book on the ‘New Releases’ stand. I made my choice based on the fact I myself was in a rush, and picked up the appropriately named Run. I’d not heard of the author before but the fact it was being hailed on the front cover as a ‘Bourne Identity for the 21st Century’ was good enough for me.
Two days into the holiday I realised what an awful mistake I had made picking up this book.
I should have picked up two Jeff Abbott books! I was tearing through the book as quickly as the main character, Ben Fosberg, was tearing up the pages in his attempts to escape the team of Homeland Security Agents who believed he had something to do with an apparent hit on a businessman who happened to be carrying Ben’s business card in his pocket.
My plans of lying in the sun or splashing around in the pool were slowly overtaken by my need to find out the answers to the questions Abbott throws up. Why was Ben was being hounded by these agents? Who is this mysterious stranger known as Pilgrim who has come to Ben’s aid? Does this have anything to do with the murder of his wife whilst on their Honeymoon two years earlier? Has anyone seen my Speedo's?
So much energy goes into this book from the get-go that you even start to feel the strain yourself such is the pace of the action that explodes with each turn of the page. You are left to keep guessing the reasons behind the scenario the main character finds himself in, with twists and turns along the way that keep you asking wondering all the way through who the bad guys really are in this story.
The comparisons to The Bourne Identity are justified, but Abbott is his own man with his own style of writing. The everyday-man personality of his main protagonist allows you to easily slip into that imaginary role and place yourself at the heart of the thrill-ride that is unfolding. It’s a character pattern that Abbott has followed in the majority of his books that I have read since.
It is surely only a matter of time before this book – along with a whole host of Abbott’s back catalogue – start getting picked up by Hollywood movie producers. If you like your action fast-paced and heart-pounding, then you can do little wrong than grab yourself a copy of this book.
Labels:
4 Stars
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Crime/Thriller Books
,
Jeff Abbott
,
Lad Lit Book Reviews
,
Run
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Thriller books
Friday, 4 May 2012
Jack's view on... Delio Rossi's apology, my fear for his children, and why he should be the new England manager!
Delio
"Rocky" Rossi issued a public apology today for his astonishing touchline attack on player Adem Ljajic, but the nature of his apology
has probably left the NSPCC on red alert!Rossi Balboa, sacked by Fiorentina on Wednesday after lamping Ljajic for sarcastically applauding his decision to substitute him, was responding to his actions at a news conference when he said: "I've made a mistake and I will pay for it. My gesture was ugly, disgraceful and I am very saddened."
Fair enough, it takes a big man to admit he was wrong, but then Rossi came out with this cracking line: "I have never allowed myself to hit anyone, not even my children."
Not even my children.
What in the blue hell is this guy on?! Is no one else slightly concerned that when you translate what old Sugar Ray Rossi seems to be saying, it comes out as:
"I have never allowed myself to hit anyone, not even my children... and God knows they deserve it the little bastards!"
He then went on to say: "I have never said that I am a a saint but you can ask the children and all the players that I have coached in the past what type of person I am."
Look, there he goes again - ask the children. I don't think so pal, they're probably scared shitless to tell the truth. I bet you have already warned them to keep their mouths shut!
It's just a shame the FA couldn't wait a day or two before naming the new England manager. I bet if they had known Rossi would have been available they would have snapped him up. We could do with someone in the England camp willing to give John Terry a good clumping.
Ooof! Take that John! That's for sleeping with your mates girlfriend and for generally being a massive tool!
He'd be an instant fan favourite!
Jack Chatham is a fictional character from Steven Scaffardi's comedy novel The Drought.
Labels:
Adem Ljajic
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Dellio Rossi
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England
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Fighting
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Fiorentina
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Football
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Football Fun
,
Jack Chatham
,
Jack's view
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John Terry
,
Serie A
Wednesday, 2 May 2012
Jack's view on... Tulisa being named FHMs Sexiest Woman 2012!
Like most blokes, I get pretty excited when FHM release their Top 100 Sexiest Women supplement.
After all, it brings back a lot of good memories for me. Back in the in
the day, FHM was treated a bit like porn for cowards. If you weren't
old enough (or tall enough) to reach for the top shelf, then you
couldn't go too wrong with FHM. Especially 1996 winner Gillian Anderson.
Hmmmm, Scully....
But I'm a little disappointed this year. Don't get me wrong, Tulisa is a good looking girl - you definitely would - but I feel the men in the UK are getting a little lazy. I mean, one sex tape where you deliver a pretty shoddy gob job does not warrant the title of sexiest woman! If that was the criteria, then Tina the barmaid at the Three Kings would take that crown - her technique is sloppy to say the least. Great rack though.
The really sad thing here is that only two of The Saturdays got
into the top 100. That is a frickin' liberty in my eyes. So men of the
UK, I call upon you to take a long hard look at yourselves. Your
standards are dropping, and if we continue to send out the message that
half-hearted blowsies get you awards, we'll end up seeing the women of
this world stop putting in the effort. Don't let this happen - your
penis needs you!
Jack Chatham is a fictional character from Steven Scaffardi's comedy novel The Drought.
But I'm a little disappointed this year. Don't get me wrong, Tulisa is a good looking girl - you definitely would - but I feel the men in the UK are getting a little lazy. I mean, one sex tape where you deliver a pretty shoddy gob job does not warrant the title of sexiest woman! If that was the criteria, then Tina the barmaid at the Three Kings would take that crown - her technique is sloppy to say the least. Great rack though.
The really sad thing here is that only two of The Saturdays got
into the top 100. That is a frickin' liberty in my eyes. So men of the
UK, I call upon you to take a long hard look at yourselves. Your
standards are dropping, and if we continue to send out the message that
half-hearted blowsies get you awards, we'll end up seeing the women of
this world stop putting in the effort. Don't let this happen - your
penis needs you!Jack Chatham is a fictional character from Steven Scaffardi's comedy novel The Drought.
Labels:
Babes
,
FHM Sexiest Women
,
Jack Chatham
,
Jack's view
,
Tulisa Contostavlos
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