Lad Lit Book Reviews: Milk-Blood by Adrian Simon

A few years ago I read and reviewed a book called The Damage Done which was about an Australian called Warren Fellows who spent 12 years inside a Thai prison for smuggling heroin. At the time I'd taken a keen interest in reading books about people who had been locked away in foreign countries; fascinated by human survival in inhumane conditions.

I enjoyed that book and others like it immensely, but like most good life stories written down on the pages of a book, I always find myself wanting a bit more. I wondered what had happened to Warren after he had been released. Could he go back to a normal life? How does someone pick up the pieces after an experience like that? What was his family going through during that period?

And then I got an email from the lovely Lou Johnson at The Author People asking if I would be interested in reading the story of Adrian Simon, son of the infamous Warren Fellows, in his memoir Milk-Blood: Growing up the son of a convicted drug smuggler.

I jumped at the chance of course. I knew the backstory, although I wasn't quite aware of how much publicity the Fellows conviction had made in Australia at the time. But what started as an interest in finding out about the wider ramifications of a convicted drug trafficker became more about wanting to know if Adrian and his courageous mother Jan had their happy ending.

I don't say this very lightly, but Adrian's story blew me away. It was much more than a young boy transforming into a man whilst at the same time trying to come to terms with the impact his father's imprisonment and notoriety had on him. Quite simply, Adrian has led an incredible life and the snippets he shares of his mother's life story is 10 times more worthy of your sympathy than what her husband went through.

But I don't want you to think this is all doom and gloom. Yes, there is tragedy and heartbreak at the spine of this story. Adrian sees his father locked away at just two-years-old, his family life is violated by the media and they are shunned by those around them, and then he suffers a nervous breakdown at just nine-years-old. And at this point he still has another three decades of life to live!

But boy does he live it. No matter what the setback, no matter what the knock, Adrian just rolls with the punches and he has more life experiences by the time he is 30 than most people have in a lifetime. The tales of him traveling around Europe and the people he meets are worthy of a story on it's own.

Did it help that I had read The Damage Done? Yes, I would be lying if I said it hadn't, but that was only because my knowledge of that history helped me empathise and understand the emotion pouring out across those pages a little bit more. I was ferociously clawing at the pages, waiting for the moment when his father was released from prison to re-enter his sons life. It filled a lot of gaps for me.

With that being said, if I had not read Warren Fellows' book then I would still give this book a four star rating and recommend it to anyone who didn't know the backstory already.

But because I do have that knowledge, this one gets bumped to a five star rating, and it has nothing to do with Warren Fellows. This is my small pat on the back for the courageous bravery shown by Adrian and his mother Jan, and the incredible lives they have led all told with charm, wit and brutal honesty.

Buy Milk-Blood by Adrian Simon at Amazon.
Check out my interview with Adrian Simon.

Lad Lit Book Reviews! The Red Mohawk by Anonymous

That man has done it again! The best-selling author of The Bourbon Kid series is back with another belter of a book, caked with blood, action, bullets, hookers, dirty cops and a psychopathic killer in a skull mask with a red mohawk - and that's just the first couple of chapters!

Without doubt, the author behind his very own mask is one of my favourites. His blend of violence and dark humour never fails to disappoint, and in his first outing since wrapping up the Santa Mondega stories, it might have been easy to take his foot off the pedal. After all, so much went into making Santa Mondega the wonderful dysfunctional community it was

But step forward the residents of B Movie Hell (yes, that's the name of the town). They might not have a barman like Sanchez, but they do have an egotistical ex-porn movie producer who now runs a brothel (and pretty much everything else in town), and he has been pretty much left to do as he pleases since he bought and renamed the small town.

That is until the FBI turn up to investigate the mysterious serial killer who dons the frightening halloween mask with a red strip of hair who is hacking anyone up who gets in his way.

Agents Jack Munson and Milena Fonseca have been put on to the top secret case to capture the escaped mental patient, but they're not exactly welcomed with open arms in B Movie Hell. What starts to unravel is a town full of dirty little secrets, including one very big secret the FBI have been keeping for nearly two decades.

There are some awesome movie references used in this book, sometimes so subtle you'll want to re-read to make sure you have spotted them all. And then there are some pretty obvious ones, like the Dirty Dancing loving prostitute called Baby.

It's wonderfully paced and the author is brilliant at piecing all of his characters together one way or another and has a knack of making you fall in love with the biggest anti-heroes of them all. It's the cartoon circus of American wrestling in the 80s and 90s combined with cult slasher movies from yesteryear all rolled into one. Go buy it!

Lad Lit Book Review: Ugly Americans by Ben Mezrich

If you want the quick review then imagine Wolf of Wall Street in Asia with more edge. If that has tantalized your taste buds then read on.

I first read Ugly Americans about 10 years ago when it first came out. I’d just discovered Ben Mezrich through Bringing Down The House and Busting Vegas, and had become a big fan. This book, whilst perhaps not one of Mezrich’s most well-known books, is one of my favourites.

In 1993 John Malcolm throws himself into the crazy world of stockbroking in Japan. He receives a baptism of fire as the first company he works for loses hundreds of millions in a deal set-up by one of the directors, forcing him out of a job. It's not long before he ends up at Barings Bank, working for infamous rogue trader Nick Leeson who made a $2bn gamble that sent Barings into receivership and Malcolm back to the job centre.

Malcolm ends up working back with the man who brought him to Asia in the first place, Dean Carney, and that is where the fun, fortune and fame start. Malcolm soon starts to rise up the financial ladder, making deals and trades that propel him to become a star in his own right to his fellow expat western traders, before being responsible for what was called "biggest deal in the history of the financial markets."

Millions are made, and then even more millions are made, but for me the real appeal in this book comes from the backdrop of the weird and wonderful fish bowl that is Tokyo. From the downright bizarre back-alley sex clubs and fetishes of local rich businessman, to the sinister side of Japan’s underbelly, namely the Yakuza.

Like all Mezrich books there is a love interest, the daughter of a Japanese mob boss, and through this relationship Malcolm find himself rubbing shoulders with men more cut-throat than those he works alongside on the trading floor.

It's an incredible journey and Mezrich excels once again in telling the story and bringing to life a world crafted from greed, power and unimaginable wealth, held together by danger and risk at every corner.

As the title says, this really is the true story of the Ivy League cowboys who raided the Asian markets for millions.

Lad Lit Book Reviews: Seeing Other People by Mike Gayle

Mike Gayle is the reason I first ever got into lad lit and after reading this book about infidelity and friendship, tinged with heartbreak and sorrow with a touch of A Christmas Carol thrown into it, I soon remembered why.

When Joe Clarke wakes up with the hot office intern, panic sets in. He does the classic man thing – claiming he can’t remember what happened, but as some of us have learned the hard way, that rarely gets us out of trouble.

It’s not long before his wife Penny rumbles him and takes off with the kids. Joe vows to be a better man to win his family back, and help is going to come from the most unlikely of places, namely his recently deceased girlfriend. Yep, you read that right! Joe has his very own ghost of relationship past. It sounds strange, but it works.

As a reader you buy into what Joe is going through – the disappointment in himself, the regret of what he is has lost, the determination to get his family back. What Gayle does with his male lead characters is make them real. You feel the emotion as though you’re one of Joe’s mates that he is confiding in.

The real stars of the book are perhaps the other members of the Divorced Dads' Club, who rally around each other as they share their tales of woe. Men don’t share their true feelings at the best of times, but Gayle deals with this brilliantly as he intertwines their stories into the novel.

All in all, Gayle proves again why he is one of the best at writing about normal male blokes, and he does it in a style that makes you want to know ‘what happened next’ long after the final page has been turned.

Lad Lit Book Reviews: Fear by Jeff Abbott

From the man who has brought us the one-worded-book-titled blockbusters Run and Panic has delivered yet another one-worded-book-titled blockbuster in Fear! Jeff Abbott take a bow. Again!

I’m not sure it’s possible for me to read a Jeff Abbott novel and not like it, so much so that I got my wife into his books and now she is recommending novels of his to me like she found the man first. Back off wifey, Jeff is mine! Not in a creepy fan stalker-ish type of way though, or when a man loves another man situation, or… maybe I should just strop right there!

Now where was I? Yes, a book review! A book review of Fear – the latest Abbott instalment I exposed my eyeballs to and how grateful they were. This time round we enter the world of Miles Kendrick and his post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) hell that has gripped his life since he was involved in a shootout that left his best friend dead. Now in the witness protection programme and in hiding from the mobsters he once worked for, Miles is desperately trying to conquer his demons with the aid of his psychiatrist, Dr Allison Vance.

But when Dr Vance’s office is blown to smithereens after claiming she could help Kendrick with a new medical treatment, all hell breaks loose! Suddenly Miles finds himself on the run with two unlikely accomplices in reality TV star Celeste Brant and ex-soldier Nathan Ruiz – both fellow PTSD sufferers who were being treated by Dr Vance with a new experimental drug called Frost.

Bound together by fear and the paranoia that they can’t trust anyone, they find themselves on the run from those who believe the trio orchestrated the explosion and have obtained research and secret formula for this new drug which is worth millions of dollars. A host of killers and bad guys will stop at nothing to get at them, and none more so than Dennis Groote, an ex-FBI agent employed by a pharmaceutical company, who is desperate to get his hands on Frost to help cure his own daughter of her PTSD hell.

Groote is the perfect example of everything that Abbott is good at as a storyteller. Yes, you empathise with the main character but boy do you like reading what the bad guys are up to. Groote is one tough mofo, but his intentions are honourable even if he bends the rules like Beckham bends a football to get what he wants! You are torn from hoping he is able to save his daughter to praying he doesn’t catch up with Miles because of the fear of what he’d do to him!

It’s another big seal of approval from Books For Men Book Reviews for this one and if I've said it once, I’ll say it again – if you haven’t read a Jeff Abbott book then get yo ass off your seat and go buy one. Now!

Lad Lit Book Reviews: Double Cross by Sam and Chuck Giancana

So here’s the problem – I bloody love this book! Okay, so really liking a book isn’t the worst thing in the world – it’s quite good actually. It means the book has done its job, so well done book. The problem is I’m torn between allowing my book crush get in the way of what is real and what is sensationalised and probably not true.

But if I put all of that to one side and forget for one minute about who cares what is fact and what is fiction, this is one hell of a read! Double Cross is the biography of Chicago gangster Sam ‘Mooney’ Giancana as told by his brother Chuck. Giancana was the ruthless mobster who ruled the Chicago Outfit during the mobs heyday in the late 50s and 60s. It was a golden era of American history and some of the most iconic figures from that decade feature prominently within the Giancana legend. None more so than JFK and his infamous assassination in 1963.

Conspiracy theorists would have a field day with this book as Chuck Giancana explains (or claims) just how close the mafia came to having a grip on the White House, as he says it was their blood money that financed the Kennedy Presidential campaign; set-up through the connections of his bootlegger father, Joe Kennedy, to the underworld. The story goes that the moment the Kennedy got into power he turned his back on those who have bankrolled his rise to lead the most powerful country in the world, and hence leaving a few bad guys in fedora's none too happy!

Throw in names like Frank Sinatra, Bobby Kennedy, Phyllis McGuire and Marilyn Monroe, plus a CIA and mob connection to assassinate Cuban leader Fidel Castro and a sprinkle of some of America’s most notorious criminals such as Al Capone, and you have all of the ingredients of a really fantastic story that could easily have fallen off the pages of a Hollywood script.

And this is just one aspect of the life and times of Sam Giancana that his brother Chuck goes into great detail about. Before and after that is the rise and fall of one of the mafia’s most vicious players, starting from his upbringing as a Sicilian immigrant in the early 1900s where his father would mercilessly beat him which undoubtedly went a long way to creating the street thug who murdered his way through the ranks to reach the top of the Chicago mob before his fate was sealed by the very hands in which he had served for his whole life.

The element of doubt on the authenticity of this book that creeps in comes from the fact that Chuck Giancana has woven it all together via recollections of other mobsters and associates of his brother, as well of course as the words straight out of Sam Giancana’s mouth, who's ego was so huge it is not unfair to assess that some of what he said could have been largely exaggerated.

For me, that is an easy stumbling block to get over and it didn’t ruin or tarnish the book for me. Like most books of this ilk, whether it is about a mafia hoodlum or an FBI agent recounting their memories of events, you believe what you choose to believe. For me, there is more than enough evidence that has come from elsewhere to suggest that the mob had their fingers in all of these pies, so what Chuck Giancana says in this book is not out of the realms of possibility. But like any good conspiracy theory, it’s up to you to decide what side of the fence you sit. As for me, I’m firmly on the side of giving this book a huge thumbs up.

Lad Lit Book Reviews: Dinner For Two by Mike Gayle

I have to be honest from the off and admit that I read this book quite some time ago. At first glance of the cover I couldn’t quite remember what the book was about but after a quick glance over the blurb I remembered the book fondly (Stop Press! Book blurb explains what the story is about!).

So here is the gist of the story – Dave Harding is a serious music journalist and we all know a bloke like Dave. They bang on about the most obscure bands you’ve never heard of and insist that if you don’t like the “indy” scene then you are not very cool. Not too dissimilar from the Rob Fleming character from Nick Hornby’s High Fidelity.

But when Dave finds himself out of a job after the music magazine he is working for folds, he is forced to make ends meet by writing articles for a women’s magazine edited by his wife Izzy, and before long he lands the role of Agony Uncle for a Teen Scene; a publication for boy-band loving girls. The problem is, Dave actually starts to enjoy dishing our advice to teenage girls and before long he is offering up his ‘expertise’ to anyone who will listen!

Then out of the blue, Dave gets a letter from a 13-year-old girl claiming that he is her father and his world is thrown into chaos somewhat, especially seeing as Izzy has recently suffered a miscarriage. The prospect of fatherhood had left Dave longing to have a child of his own, but now he finds himself in the unenviable position of being torn between the revelation that he could be father for a teenage girl he hardly knows and how to approach the woman he loves to tell her he has fathered a child from a previous relationship within weeks of them losing their own baby.

It’s an interesting subject matter to tackle from a ‘blokes’ point of view and as I’ve always found with Mike Gayle books, he does it with a really nice approach and tone. It never came across as trying to take itself too seriously although it always kept in line with the fact it was dealing with a serious issue, and it is helped along with comical dithering that a man would certainly be able to relate to, and probably a lot of women would recognise too!

This is Mike Gayle doing what he does best, and wrapping a very clever story in comfortable surroundings (the back story of Dave being a magazine journalistic mirrors Gayle’s own profession), so it is very easy to believe the character and the life in which he is living. What probably wasn’t as easy was tackling the issue of building a relationship with someone you hardly know while at the same time trying not to hurt the one closest to you.

All in all, it’s another notch on the lad lit post for Gayle, and fans of his of this style of genre will lap it up. It might not be to every lads taste but what is? If you haven’t tried Mike Gayle before then this is not a bad place to start!

Lad Lit Book Reviews: Casino: Love & Honor in Las Vegas by Nicholas Pileggi

Anyone who has seen the Martin Scorsese film Casino will clearly remember the scene where Joe Pesci’s character pops the guys eye out of its socket whilst squeezing his head in a vice. It’s fair to say it’s wasn't a pretty sight (pardon the pun), but if you are a die-hard mob movie fan then it’s a scene that is right up there with a horse’s head in a bed or asking if I’m funny like a clown.

Well if you were a fan of the film (or even better, if you haven’t seen the film yet), then make sure you check out this book! Brought to us by Nicholas Pileggi, the same author who penned Wiseguy which was the inspiration for Goodfellas, this is the story of Love and Honor in Las Vegas.

Pileggi focuses in on two prominent mob figures who went to Las Vegas in the 1970s with the instructions from the Chicago Outfit to run the gambling capital of the world with a combination of brains and brawn. Frank “Lefty” Rosenthal, who  was one of Chicago’s top sports handicappers, was sent by mob bosses to run the casinos and skim millions of dollars from the profits to line their pockets in the process, while Tony “The Ant” Spilotro was the street thug and mafia hitman sent in to take care of any unsavoury business!

What follows is a story full of lust, greed, violence and more violence as Pilleggi delivers a knock-out blow-by-blow account of what Vegas was like during the mob’s heyday stranglehold of sin city; but perhaps most importantly of all it tells of the fall of the mafia’s grip on Las Vegas. A lot of the story is told through the words of Rosenthal and his own downfall, which starts to unravel when he falls into legal problems over his lack of a gaming licence due to his criminal record, his Showgirl wife’s addiction to everything that is wrong in her life, and last but not least the increasingly erratic and violent behaviour of Spilitro. 

It also flags up just how much of a crazy town Vegas was during that period. For example, Rosenthal’s answer to not being given a gaming licence was to star in his own TV chat show to combat those who had rejected his application. Read that again. That's right – he decided to host his own TV chat show because someone told him no! It’s basically the same as not being successful in a job interview so you decide to go onto Jeremy Kyle to air your grievances!

And things don’t get any better for poor Frank as his showgirl wife, Geri, spirals out of control on drink and drugs and then does the one thing that would be bloody hard for any lad to deal with – she shacks up with the local hitman and has an affair with Spilotro, who by now is playing by his own rules and is heading up the notorious Hole in the Wall gang who would break into places by, well, smashing a hole through the wall!

Evil doesn’t even do the word justice in trying to explain the type of man Spilitro was, but even for all his crimes you still can’t quite believe the shocking and gruesome demise he is met with, which probably says as much about dispelling the so-called romance around the mafia created by stories such as The Godfather that I was still unable comprehend the awful way in which these gangsters deal with their own.

My only criticism of the book – and it has to be said that it is a minor criticism – is that it doesn’t read as smoothly at times as Wiseguy did. Pileggi has done his research, no doubt about it, but there were times when trying to keep up with the narrative that had been pieced together by old interviews or FBI files wasn’t easy to follow.

But all in all, if you like your gangster stories, then you will like Casino. It harks back to an age where Vegas was not the adult theme park it has become today. "Today in Las Vegas, the men in fedoras who built the city are gone," Pileggi concludes, and whilst that is true, it still remains that one of the wealthiest cities in the world was built on the blood money by American gangsters.

Lad Lit Book Reviews: I Am Zlatan Ibrahimović

If Zlatan Ibrahimović could sum up his book in one word, I’m pretty sure he would call it awesome. After all, this is the word that Zlatan refers to himself as on no fewer than 104 times within the first three pages! And if I’m completely honest, I tend to agree!

This is much more than a football autobiography. Of course it charts his incredible footballing journey from Swedish outfit Malmö to the dizzy heights of European giants Ajax, Juventus, Inter, Barcelona, AC Milan and Paris St Germain, but the heart of this story is that of a poor child of immigrant parents.

Growing up on the tough streets of Rosengard, Zlatan paints a fairly bleak childhood in terms of poverty, where stealing bikes was seen as nothing more than an everyday pastime and imitating a police officer with a shampoo bottle to pull someone over (yes, he actually did this!) was merely just a bit of fun. Caught in between a bitter divorce between his Bosnian Muslim father and his Croatian Catholic mother, it was Zlatan’s talent as a football player that shone through and would act as he escape mechanism to a world that was totally out of reach for people on the estate in which he lived.

While other youngsters played football to the strict no-nonsense Swedish approach, Zlatan was more concerned with imitating his Brazilian heroes who’s videos he would study to perfect their wonderfully crafted samba skills. Even when parents at the local football club where Zlatan played started a petition to rid Zlatan and his selfish exploits on the football pitch, he was undeterred in his approach to the beautiful game.

It is a stubbornness and confrontational attitude that would serve Zlatan well throughout his career, if not making the odd enemy along the way. In the very first chapter of the book Zlatan accuses legendary Barcelona coach Pep Guardiola of being a ‘creepy control freak’ and later on as a man who was afraid of Jose Mourinho with ‘no balls’. That pretty much sets the tone for the rest of the book that pulls no punches.

Sandwiched in the middle of all of this are those wonderfully classic Zlatan moments of magic, mayhem and mastery on and off the football field. When a young Zlatan was informed that Southampton was interested in acquiring his services he bluntly responded with: “What the fuck! Southampton! Is that my level?” Or his poetic comparison of playing for two of the modern games greatest managers: “If Mourinho lights up a room, Guardiola draws the curtains.” And of course the modest Zlatan quotes that range from “We won the UEFA Supercup, I was awesome” to “An injured Zlatan is a properly serious thing for any team.”

But just like that other sporting great Muhammad Ali, who set the standard for could talking the talk and walking the walk, Zlatan backs up all of his bravado by delivering the goods. After all, here is a man who has won league titles at every club he has played at, including an eight-year winning streak that took in championships in Holland, Spain and Italy. So when this man tells you that “What John Carew does with a football, I can do with an orange” you tend to listen.

It is fair to say that I Am Zlatan Ibrahimović will whet the appetite of every football fan as it not only details a great story of an underdog rising to the very top, but it intrigues with tales and insight of some of the game’s greatest names. Added to the mix his youth and background makes for one of the best – if not the best – football biography I’ve ever read.

If I was asked to sum this autobiography  up in one word, I’d literally take a leaf out of Zlatan’s book and call it awesome.

Lad Lit Book Reviews: High Fidelity by Nick Hornby

I have not read nearly as many Nick Hornby books as I should, and why I waited so long to read High Fidelity is beyond me! This truly is lad lit at its finest and in the main character Rob Fleming I think I have a kindred spirit. I hope I’m not doing him an injustice by saying this, but he kind of reminds me a bit of Karl Pilkington in that throughout his narration he constantly says the things that everyone secretly thinks but rarely say out loud, or that he simply tells it like it is like a conversation you would have with a mate down the pub. But more on that later.

So what’s it all about? The whole story is told through Rob’s eyes; he’s in his 30s and life is not exactly moving at a 100 miles per hour. The record store that he owns isn’t a financial gold mine and he spends much of his time discussing his favourite ‘top five’ music lists with his employees Dick and Barry (who certainly deserve a special mention for the part they play in making the dynamic of this little trio so funny at times).

Rob has not had the best luck with women either and after the first chapter in which he details the five great ‘break-ups’ of his life, it doesn’t really come as a surprise when his current girlfriend Laura decides to give him the elbow for Ray (real name Ian) who lives upstairs. There are some brilliantly funny moments when Rob starts to have flashbacks at the times Laura and him would lay in bed listening to the passionate moans of pleasure coming from Ray’s bedroom, and of course like a lot of blokes in his situation, instead of facing the main problem of his break-up head-on, paranoia engulfs his own sexual ability, as Rob explains:

“I really don’t know why it matters so much. Ian could be better at talking than me, or cooking, or working, or housework, or saving money, or earning money, or spending money, or understanding books or films; he could be nicer than me, better-looking, more intelligent, cleaner, more generous-spirited, more helpful, a better human being in any way you care to mention... and I wouldn’t mind. Really. I accept and understand that you can’t be good at everything and I am tragically unskilled in some very important areas. But sex is different; knowing a successor is better in bed is impossible to take, and I don’t know why.”

While Laura is ambitious and determined, Rob is somewhat happy for things to carry on like they always have. At first he embraces the break-up; feeling that he was the one being held back somehow, but pretty soon reality strikes and Rob starts to wonder if he’ll ever find a woman who will be able to resist dropping him like a lead balloon. Of course, Rob comes up with the perfect plan to put a stop to this rut, but instead taking a hard look at the man in the mirror, he decides the best way to determine what his shortcomings are is to seek out his top five break-ups to ask their opinion.

Along the way Rob realises that he wants to win Laura back; he has to win Laura back but change doesn’t come easy and there are lots of laughs along the way at Rob’s expense.

And now on to those Karl Pilkington say-what-you-see moments. Here are a couple of my favourite Rob Fleming lines:

“Sometimes I got so bored of trying to touch her breasts that I would try to touch her between her legs, a gesture that had sort of self-parodying wit about it: it was like trying to borrow a fiver, getting turned down, and asking to borrow fifty quid instead.”

“I hate calling him T-Bone. It sets my teeth on edge, like when you have to ask for a Big Heap Buffalo Billburger, when all you want is a quarter pounder, or a Just Like Mom Used To Make, when all you want is a piece of apple pie.”

There are some other truly great lines in this book, but I don’t want to ruin it for anyone who is going to give this book a read. I personally really enjoyed it and the subject matter of love and break-ups is told from a perspective that I think both men and women will enjoy and appreciate.

Lad Lit Book Reviews: The Stag and Hen Weekend by Mike Gayle

I wanted to love this book so much. When I picked it up, I had visions of scenes straight out of The Hangover. After all, that’s what stag do’s are all about right? Boys getting away for the weekend and getting up to no good while their wives and girlfriends are none the wiser. Even Mike Gayle himself described them as “when every weekend had the potential to be the best weekend of their lives.”

The story is split into two – the stag weekend with Phil and his pals, and then his fiancé Helen and her friends. As a reader, you are encouraged to start with whatever story you wished. I opted for the stag weekend. At first I struggled with the six main characters. Apart from Phil and his best man Simon, it was hard to tell who was who, but eventually I got there. But just when I thought the boys were about to get up to some mischief, Phil throws a massive strop and basically spends the entire time away from the lads!

Granted, he ends up spending time with what sounds like a pretty hot ex-pop star called Sanne, but still! This is his stag do! Apart from the boys all wearing Reservoir Dogs outfits (which was a nice touch) and a bit of a scuffle with some lads from Essex, Phil spends his whole time worrying about one of Helen’s exes who has reared his little celebrity head (her ex is a famous DJ). Throw in Phil’s stoner dad who makes a surprise appearance and Phil’s misery is pretty much complete.

The thing is, I actually liked Phil – he seemed like a good guy, but the fact he was in Amsterdam and the most exciting thing he did was go to the Van Gogh museum was a bit bland for my liking. Unfortunately this Phil was nothing like the Phil from The Hangover, and even worse there was not an Alan or Stu in sight, let alone a Doug!

Anyway, the ending of the stag do set up an intriguing cliffhanger so I was keen to find out what was going to happen and read on. The hen weekend was pretty much what I expected. Even though I’d been hoping for some pretty low-level drunken shenanigans with ‘L’ plates, fairy wings, and Playboy bunny outfits, what I got was nice dinners and spas.

This story followed a similar pattern to Phil’s, where Helen has her head turned by Aiden her celebrity ex, who has found out that Helen was throwing her hen weekend at this exclusive hotel and has basically turned up to try and win her back. Just as Phil has his dad, Helen has to contend with Phil’s sister Caitlin who she has never got on with.

And finally...! The ending is weird, or should I say the complete lack of ending. Others have called it open-ended, but I just felt like I’d been rear-ended. Even after everything, I was still flicking through the pages because I thought I might have missed something and I genuinely wanted to know what happened to Phil and Helen.

Overall the book was well-written and the concept is really clever, it just wasn't to my taste like some of Mike Gayle’s other books. I suppose at the end of the day this was more chick-lit than lad-lit and that’s why it didn’t float my boat. Perhaps the other problem was that I read this book immediately after reading Danny Wallace’s Charlotte Street which I really enjoyed, and hit the nail on the head of what I feel lad lit should be. After everything I’ve said, this book probably doesn’t deserve anything lower than 3 stars, but it’s one I’d probably more recommend to my missus than my mates.

Lad Lit Book Reviews: Charlotte Street by Danny Wallace

When I grow up and (hopefully) become a proper writer, I want to be Danny Wallace. His words simply trickle off the page like treacle oozing off a spoon, and in Charlotte Street he has a real winner on his hands. Here was have the story of Jason Priestley (not of 90210 fame although he gets that a lot...) whose brief encounter with a mystery beauty on Charlotte Street results in him being left with her disposal camera.

Besotted by the mystery woman and encouraged by his best friend Dev (who is arguably the best character in the book), Jason decides to get the pictures developed to try and use it for clues to find her again. With shades of Friends Like These, Jason ends up searching the length and breadth of the country (well, Whitby anyway) in what becomes a slight obsession to meet this woman again.

Along the way he meets old and new friends (Matt – the kid he used to teach, his ex Sarah and her fiancé Gary, his work colleague Clem the wannabe stand-up comedian, Abbey the free spirit); all have their own rich identities and personalities that Wallace captures so brilliantly well, and weaves them into Jason's life in a way which makes each character seem equally as important to the story, no matter how much or how little they actually appear in the book.

In a way, they all play their part in Jason trying to find this woman which inadvertently means he ends up finding himself. There are plenty of laughs along the way, and the dialogue between the characters at times is nothing short of brilliant, yet so simple. The story is told to us by Jason, which means you get closer to the character as you share his inner-most thoughts, no matter how quirky or silly they are.

One of the greatest triumphs in this book is that even though Jason is going through a tough time in his life (his career is going nowhere fast) he never becomes whiny, and instead as the reader you urge him on in his journey like he is an old friend.

There are lots of funny moments in this book that range from Jason becoming the poster boy for the local pizza restaurant's marketing drive to turning up at his ex's engagement party and being part of a plan that gets all of the guests high on marijuana; Wallace describes them all in that all-so-easy style that makes it feel like the man is sitting next to you in a pub telling you the story himself.

Just in case I haven't made this clear already - this is a really enjoyable book which I highly recommend. If you are looking for a new lad lit book to read, then look no further...!

Lad Lit Book Reviews: Trust Me by Jeff Abbott

If I could sum up all of Jeff Abbott’s main characters from his catalogue of excellent thrillers in one word it would be unlucky. If I could use two words it would be bloody unlucky!

But if I take that same formula, flip it around and point it at the reader of Jeff Abbott books, then that word would be lucky; because we are bloody lucky that Jeff Abbott continues to share his gift of being able to write edge-of-your-seat stuff time and time again.

Luke Dantry takes centre stage this time as our unlucky hero; caught up in the world of extreme terrorism that will jolt him from his pretty normal life as a 24-year-old university graduate working with his stepfather to conduct research into extremists groups on the Internet. In typical Abbott fashion, the story doesn’t take long to delve straight into the action. The scene is set at the start with the usual suspects of shady characters plotting unforgiving atrocities on an unsuspecting world as a man in a grey suit is the happy recipient of $50m from a wealthy Middle Eastern prince to finance what we become to know as Hellfire. However, what our two bad guys are unaware of is that their little conversation is being listened in to by a British woman called Jane, who is the catalyst for dragging poor Luke into this mess.

Luke’s stepfather – Henry Shawcross; a man who stepped into Luke’s father’s shoes when his real dad was killed by terrorists, and continued to pick up the pieces after his mother died in a car crash – is an expert on predicting how and when terrorist groups will attack. After delivering Henry his latest findings from the online terrorist groups he has infiltrated known as The Night Road, Luke drives Henry to the airport and it is here that his world is about to fall apart.

Upon dropping Henry off, Luke is kidnapped at gunpoint by a desperate man he knows only as Eric. In a haze of fear, panic, and confusion, Luke finds himself an accomplice in the seemingly pointless murder of a homeless man, a bargaining chip for Eric’s own kidnapped girlfriend, and eventually chained to a bed in a cabin in the middle of nowhere. Now Luke needs to find a way to escape before the people sent to collect him get there.

What follows is an epic journey across America as Luke tries to piece together the puzzles of his own life to make sense of the madness that has engulfed him, and to work out if he can really trust anyone. Sandwiched in the middle of all the chaos in Luke’s life is the backdrop of random acts of violence as the group funding Hellfire set about using their web of extremists to plot attacks across the country.

Abbott has once again put together an ensemble of characters, dialogue, and plots that screech around corners at a 100mph before taking unexpected turns and near crash experiences. My four and five star rating for Abbott’s material might be getting a reputation for being quite repetitive, but every single one of his books has been a winner for me. Some better than others, definitely, and if I’m being really harsh then maybe compared this one to his other books like Panic and Fear, I might knock the odd star off this one, but I’m not being harsh, this is another bloody good read, and that’s that!

Trust me, this book is good!

Lad Lit Book Reviews: Banged Up Abroad: Hellhole by James Miles & Paul Loseby

I've learnt a thing or two since reading the odd book about how you might want to try and avoid the perils and pitfalls of finding yourself behind bars in a foreign nick. For example, that dodgy bloke you met in the pub who offers you easy money for going on a simple little trip is dodgy for a very good reason. Another little tidbit is smuggling drugs out of an Asian or South American country is generally a pretty piss-poor decision, especially when all you get is a weeks holiday at a 5-star hotel and about five grand for your troubles. Stick with your 3-star hotel with Thomas Cook, paid with from your own hard earned money; it's less hassle, trust me. 

Oh, and if you've got nothing but clouds between your ears and you opt to take the dodgy bloke up on his offer of luxury in return of doing a little 'favour' for him, run a million miles if he says the job involves traveling to Venezuela!

Franks Kane's In The Shadow Of Papillon sent a shiver down my spine when I read it, and James Miles and Paul Loseby's account of their Fight To Survive South America's Deadliest Prison comes a very close second!

I remember seeing these two lads on the TV show Banged Up Abroad and it was one of my favourite episodes. Here you had two normal guys who naively agreed to smuggle cocaine back into the UK after growing 'bored' of their lives in Leicester, and my God they paid the price for that boredom!

I've said it before in my reviews of these types of books and I'll say it again - I don't applaud anyone for attempting to smuggle or deal in drugs, but I do applaud the testicular fortitude these people put on display when faced with sadistic prison guards, vicious gangs armed to the teeth with knives, guns, and grenades, and not to mention the filth, insects, and rat infested conditions they have to live in. Miles and Loseby had to deal with some of the worst conditions and scenarios I've read about.

My only criticism - and it is a minor criticism - is that at times I did find myself thinking that Uri Geller would have been proud of the levels of truth 'bending' going on in here! Some of the stories seem a little far fetched. James Miles takes control as the lead vocal in this book, and he clearly enjoys playing the tough guy, which I appreciate you have to do in a situation as extreme as this. But there is a bit too much bravado for me at times; too much of Miles making sure he lets the reader know how much of a 'geezer' he is. You're in a awful, horrible, vile situation - we get it. We know how tough you have to be, you don't need to keep reminding the reader!

Then again, maybe I'm being too harsh, and perhaps after you have been through what these two guys went through you're entitled to some creative freedom and dare I say it, boasting. After all is said and done, the sad reality of this book is that it's a very tragic story of a lost youth. It never ceases to amaze me just how shocking some of these experiences can be; sometimes words simply don't do them justice. 

The bond between these two kids - because that's what they were at 19 when this happened - is testament to the inhumane conditions and regime they fought against to live to tell the tale. I'm sure people would be quick to label and stereotype Miles and Loseby as two typical council estate wannabe gangsters; but I think that upbringing probably saved their lives. Christ knows you need to show a bit of streetwise savvy and aggression to survive a place like Yare (the prison in which they were housed).

I found myself engrossed within the pages of this story, and I came to quite like the two boys, and I was willing them to make it through this terrible journey. Everyone makes mistakes, and these two made the Godzilla of all mistakes. But they fought with every ounce of strength and soul left in their bodies, and that comes through in their words.

Lad Lit Book Reviews: I Am The Secret Footballer

Football has never been bigger – in terms of both finances and global status. Players are like rock stars from your Ozzy Osbourne’s (Luis Suarez – likes to bite things) to your Bono’s (David Beckham – does a lot for charity y’know) and your Donny Tourette’s (John Terry – no one likes him) to your Liam Gallagher’s (Joey Barton – talks a good game and likes a punch-up).

If the football field is a theatre then the media tales we hear is the pantomime and we’ve become as hungry for all the on-field antics as we have with those off-field. The almost 24-hour coverage of the beautiful game makes us feel like we have almost open access to the inner-goings on at our clubs, but the truth is the truth is there has never been such a wider divide between players and fans as there is today.

That is what makes I Am The Secret Footballer so intriguing. Even before this book came out, this mystery player has been revealing top secret information about the inner sanctum of the Premier League and the lives that revolve around it in his column for The Guardian. Most footballer’s autobiographies are rarely that open, maintaining that What happens in the dressing room, stays in the dressing room stance, especially if they are still playing.

But in this book, the Secret Footballer is more than happy to hold the door wide open and let us walk in to explore all manners of everything football from managers to players and the media to money. He talks candidly about players contracts and what the atmosphere in the dressing room is really like.

And then there is the bad behaviour. For every scandal that makes it on to the front pages of the tabloids, there appears to be double the amount we never hear about. His stories about one footballer’s wife and another married player openly getting jiggy in a Dubai swimming pool or the time the his team had an interesting altercation with a bunch of Barcelona players at a Las Vegas strip club make for more than just an interesting read!

Still, I couldn’t help but think as I read the book that he was always being totally open.  For example, the player is clearly married or has had a long-term partner, so when he regales stories about wannabe WAGs throwing themselves at footballers (one great story is when a girl is ashamed of herself for going back to sleep with a Championship player!), he is always quick to distance himself from any wrong-doing despite the fact some of his stories involve him going back to hotels with these women.

For the most part he is honest and open, and discussion around his identity continues to grow. A recent website set-up by fans of the column believe they have ‘unmasked’ the player to be current Sheffield United striker Dave Kitson after matching certain criteria within the book to the former Stoke City and Reading player.

Whoever he is, he has written a must-read book for all football fans who want to know what really goes on in the world of a top-level professional footballer.

Lad Lit Book Reviews: The Book of Death by Anonymous (The Bourbon Kid 4)

The Bourbon Kid is back baby! The fourth installment of this wonderful Tarantino-esque romp returns to Santa Mondega after the bloodbath in the Arizona desert in The Devil's Gravyard, for the final conclusion to what has become my all-time favourite book(s).

Egyptian Mummy Rameses Gaius is on the verge of becoming the king of Santa Mondega; assembling an army of the undead to wreak havoc and pretty much kill anyone who stands in their way following the apparent death of The Bourbon Kid.The breakdown in law and order has sunk to a new low, what with the local police force being all but wiped out following the most recent bloodbath.

Now reliant on volunteers, the only two people stupid enough to put their names forward are Sanchez the bartender and Flake the waitress. The fact that Sanchez is attacked by a bunch of cookie-selling Girl Guides tells you all you need to know about his ability to shield the city from the evil engulfing it.

And when Sanchez stumbles across a mysterious book in the local library that is being hunted by his long-time crush Jessica the Vampire Queen, the bumbling bartender is only too happy to try and return the book to her, yet completely oblivious to the destruction it will cause by ending up in the wrong hands.

The good citizens of Santa Mondega (those who are left anyway) have only one real hope left, and when that last hope is to pray for the return of the world's most prolific mass murderer, you know things have hit rock bottom! Still, it isn't long before The Bourbon Kid is pulled back into the fold following the kidnap of his childhood sweetheart Beth, at which point you know it won't be long until all hell breaks loose!

Written with the same comedy timing and energy that has poured off the pages of the previous three books in the series, The Book of Death is another fine example of good old fashioned guts-and-gore fun! The characters all remain so unique in their own way, yet blend together in this wonderful world of werewolves, vampires, zombies, drunks, serial killers, and half-wits!

If reports are to be believed, JJ Abrahams - the Hollywood director and producer - has bought the film rights to The Bourbon Kid series and is rumoured to be creating a TV series based on the books called Pulp. I for one can't bloody wait!

Lad Lit Book Reviews: The Devil's Graveyard by Anonymous (The Bourbon Kid 3)

Have you ever wondered what would happen if X Factor met Night of the Living Dead? Me neither, but I’m sure as hell pleased that the anonymous author of The Devil’s Graveyard chose to mash these two unlikely forces together!

The third in the Bourbon Kid series (following The Book With No Name and The Eye of the Moon) takes a detour away from the vampire and werewolf infested city of Santa Mondega, and instead we are plonked bang in the middle of the Arizona desert at the Hotel Pasadena, which seems to be the holiday destination of choice for the undead as well as every lowlife and murderer in the country! Throw in an army of flesh-eating zombies and you have a whole different meaning to the term self-catering!

The reason for this gathering of ghouls is to take part in a TV talent show called ‘Back From the Dead’ but unbeknown to them is the fact chief judge Nigel Powell (And yes, Nigel Powell is a parody of Simon Cowell from the bright white smile to the devil horns!) has rigged the contest and has hired a stone cold hitman to bump off the other contestants as an insurance policy.

Queue the appearance of everyone’s favourite mass murderer, The Bourbon Kid, to sweep in and throw a spanner in the works, especially when he takes it upon himself to make sure no harm comes to one of the contestants, Emily, who reminds him of someone he knew a lifetime ago before the bourbon transformed him into a raging killer.

But The Kid is not the only one to make a return to form as the hapless bartender Sanchez once again steals the show with some seriously laugh-out loud scenarios after turning up at the hotel after winning a competition to earn himself a weekend away. Only Sanchez could win something and end up in Hell!

What else can I say about this writer and this series of books that I haven't said in my previous two reviews? He/she has the uncanny ability to articulate the most gruesome of scenes yet they still leave you with a smile on your face. It is laced with wicked dark humour throughout which means the laughs come as thick and fast as the blood that scatters each page.

It’s simply another great triumph from the author, and it just as hard to put down as the previous two. If I'm being ultra critical it's not quite as good as the first two instalments, but they set the bar so high that it's by no means a criticism on what is a fantastically enjoyable read!

Lad Lit Book Reviews: Gazza: My Story by Paul Gascoigne

At a time when English football fans can only look on with envy at the types of players the rest of the world seem to be able to produce, I decided to pick up a copy of Gazza: My Story and wonder what just might have been.

The result was far more frustrating than enjoyable as I found myself shaking my head like a disappointed father more times than laughing at the ridiculous situations Gazza got himself into during a playing career which was wrecked by injury and self destruction.

Paul Gascoigne was the most naturally gifted British player since George Best, and he captured our hearts at Itlalia '90 with his skillful displays and of course those semi-final tears. And despite flashes of brilliance over the next decade or so, Gazza would become more famous for his front page headlines rather than those on the sports pages.

Don't get me wrong, the story is told in that same daft and cheeky tone we all fell in love with in the first place. The one that made it so easy for us to all forgive Gazza far too often. But it's also told in a way that says he's learned nothing. There is no doubt that Paul Gascoigne loves the game of football, but the further I got into this book the harder I found it to feel sorry for him after he continued to screw up one chance after another. 

This book rarely tackles some of Gazza's major problems head-on, and instead much of his antics are painted in a boys will be boys way to almost justify it. The stories are funny, from Gazza climbing into a fish tank at a Rome restaurant to pick which lobster he wanted to eat to stealing a bus and taking all the passengers for a ride! But all the time I just kept thinking 'you should have been the greatest.'

It makes it even harder watching the likes of Cristiano Ronaldo or Lionel Messi (heck, even the Welsh have Gareth Bale!) perform magic on the pitch. We should have those memories of Gazza creating havoc to defences all over Europe. There should be more Colin Hendry ball-flipping-and-volleyed goals for us to look back on. Instead all we are left with are fleeting moments of genius that all seem far too long ago now. These types of players come along once in a generation if we're lucky and we had one, but he just pissed it all up the wall.

What makes it worse is that you're still willing him on throughout the book even though you already know the outcome.I wept along with him in 1990 when he took us to within a penalty shoot out of our first World Cup final since 66. I held my breath when he was inches away from scoring the Golden Goal that would have sent us into Euro 96 heaven. And I was as shocked as any England player when Glenn Hoddle left him out of the World Cup 98 squad.

But at the end of the day, I like my books to have some sort of happy ending, and this book doesn't really have that because of the fact that Gazza is still battling those well-publicised demons.

Lad Lit Book Reviews: Be Careful What You Wish For by Simon Jordan

If you have gone and watched your football team play against Crystal Palace in the last decade, chances are you would have chanted “Simon Jordan is a w*nker” alongside 10,000 or so of your fellow fans at the top of your lungs.

Perhaps this is not the best endorsement for Simon Jordan and his book, but how many other football chairman can you think of that was more controversial, more outspoken, and more blonde than the former Eagles owner?

Palace fans loved him, opposition fans loved to taunt him. The perma-tanned self-made millionaire made his fortune in the mobile phone business and by the age of 32 he was the youngest owner of a football club. Ten years and £35m later he had lost it all, but what a decade he had left in his wake.

You might not think that Jordan has much more to say in this book that he hasn’t already aired publicly such was his inability to keep his mouth shut in front of reporters or a TV camera, but that certainly isn’t the case.

What is refreshing about this book compared to other football autobiographies is that we get a different perspective on the crazy world of top-flight football. Never one to be a shrinking violet, Jordan is unrelenting with his attacks on players, managers, agents, and other chairman (he once said: “If I see another David Gold interview on the poor East End Jewish boy done good I'll impale myself on one of his dildos).

I applaud his tenaciousness to try and turn his beloved Crystal Palace into a top flight contender, but at the same time I can’t help but shake my head at his insistence to continue to throw millions of pounds at something without considering the consequences. It is a bit like lending cash to your best mate who you know is rubbish with money; you know you’ll never get the money back but you keep trying to help out. Another classic case of an accomplished businessman leaving his business acumen at the turnstiles.

Jordan is certainly lives up to the hype of a big-time Charlie as he talks about his Spanish villas and private jets, but so what? He earned the right to live that lifestyle, and how many more football chairman do you know who dated supermodels? Whatever your opinion of him, his time in football certainly made things interesting.

He battled relentless against the system, creating enemies in every corner of the football family from senior members of the FA to Millwall and Birmingham fans and to fellow chairman (former Charlton chairman Richard Murray challenged him to a fight) and the managers he hired and fired (eight managers would come and go during his tenure). That is not to say that Jordan did not have his supporters and friends in football, but he wasn't afraid of who upset along the way.

In amongst all the bravado and the self-gratification is a very insightful look at the parts of football we as fans don’t normally get exposed to, and after reading this book I truly believe Jordan wanted to make a difference in football and fought a good fight. Unfortunately for him it wasn’t good enough and not only did he lose a fortune, but football in general is probably a lot poorer for the loss of another great character.

As a football fan, I found this a really enjoyable read. Football is a bit like a pantomime or a soap opera and the roles of those characters are played out beautifully in this book. We have the implosion of ITV Digital, the Iain Dowie court case for fraudulent misrepresentation (when Jordan issued Dowie a writ during his press conference as he was being unveiled as the new Charlton manager), and of course the bitter downfall that nearly dragged Palace into the football graveyard of obscurity. Unfortunately for Jordan it was his lone tombstone that was consigned to football folklore.

Lad Lit Book Reviews: Adrenaline by Jeff Abbott

In typical Jeff Abbott form this one not only packs a punch from the opening pages, but it explodes open an almighty 'I'm gonna knock you the f*** out' can of whoop-ass!

Sam Capra's perfect existence in London is about to come crashing down all around him. The American CIA Agent is closing in on an important target when his pregnant wife calls him at work urging him to get out of the building. Within minutes Sam's life is in tatters and everything he holds close is gone. As he steps out on to the street he spots his wife, Lucy, being driven away by a mysterious scar-faced man. Before Sam can give chase he is knocked out from the blow of a bomb ripping through his office.

When Sam awakes he is in a prison cell, told that he is the only survivor from the explosion, and is tortured for information to find out why he has murdered all of his colleagues and why he has turned traitor.Sam needs to act fast and fall back on all of the skills he learned as a CIA Operative if he is to survive and discover the truth about the life he thought he knew so well.

Abbott is fast becoming the king of the thriller genre, and with Adrenaline he has created a character that will become the basis of a series of books, much like Robert Ludlum did with the Bourne character. What that means is that Abbott moves away from the normal everyday 'Joe Bloggs' character from his previous novels, and has created a man more adept to arm-to-arm combat.

The cynic inside me says he has done this with one eye on a movie deal, but it doesn't change the fact that Abbott is very good at what he does, and maybe I'm simply being too hasrh. After all, it's also fair to say that Abbott has shown he is able to turn his hand at being able to write about a different type of character rather than sticking to the tried and tested format which has already worked so well for him.

Abbott effortlessly holds the readers attention with more twists and turns that a Formula One racing track. His books are always cool, slick, and are packed with so much energy that they should come with a health warning. Adrenaline lives up to its name, but be prepared that once you reach the ending there is a strong chance you'll be hooked on the Sam Capra series and will find yourself lining Mr Abbott's pockets with more of your cash to buy the next installment.