Lad Lit Book Reviews: Banged Up Abroad: Hellhole by James Miles & Paul Loseby

I've learnt a thing or two since reading the odd book about how you might want to try and avoid the perils and pitfalls of finding yourself behind bars in a foreign nick. For example, that dodgy bloke you met in the pub who offers you easy money for going on a simple little trip is dodgy for a very good reason. Another little tidbit is smuggling drugs out of an Asian or South American country is generally a pretty piss-poor decision, especially when all you get is a weeks holiday at a 5-star hotel and about five grand for your troubles. Stick with your 3-star hotel with Thomas Cook, paid with from your own hard earned money; it's less hassle, trust me. 

Oh, and if you've got nothing but clouds between your ears and you opt to take the dodgy bloke up on his offer of luxury in return of doing a little 'favour' for him, run a million miles if he says the job involves traveling to Venezuela!

Franks Kane's In The Shadow Of Papillon sent a shiver down my spine when I read it, and James Miles and Paul Loseby's account of their Fight To Survive South America's Deadliest Prison comes a very close second!

I remember seeing these two lads on the TV show Banged Up Abroad and it was one of my favourite episodes. Here you had two normal guys who naively agreed to smuggle cocaine back into the UK after growing 'bored' of their lives in Leicester, and my God they paid the price for that boredom!

I've said it before in my reviews of these types of books and I'll say it again - I don't applaud anyone for attempting to smuggle or deal in drugs, but I do applaud the testicular fortitude these people put on display when faced with sadistic prison guards, vicious gangs armed to the teeth with knives, guns, and grenades, and not to mention the filth, insects, and rat infested conditions they have to live in. Miles and Loseby had to deal with some of the worst conditions and scenarios I've read about.

My only criticism - and it is a minor criticism - is that at times I did find myself thinking that Uri Geller would have been proud of the levels of truth 'bending' going on in here! Some of the stories seem a little far fetched. James Miles takes control as the lead vocal in this book, and he clearly enjoys playing the tough guy, which I appreciate you have to do in a situation as extreme as this. But there is a bit too much bravado for me at times; too much of Miles making sure he lets the reader know how much of a 'geezer' he is. You're in a awful, horrible, vile situation - we get it. We know how tough you have to be, you don't need to keep reminding the reader!

Then again, maybe I'm being too harsh, and perhaps after you have been through what these two guys went through you're entitled to some creative freedom and dare I say it, boasting. After all is said and done, the sad reality of this book is that it's a very tragic story of a lost youth. It never ceases to amaze me just how shocking some of these experiences can be; sometimes words simply don't do them justice. 

The bond between these two kids - because that's what they were at 19 when this happened - is testament to the inhumane conditions and regime they fought against to live to tell the tale. I'm sure people would be quick to label and stereotype Miles and Loseby as two typical council estate wannabe gangsters; but I think that upbringing probably saved their lives. Christ knows you need to show a bit of streetwise savvy and aggression to survive a place like Yare (the prison in which they were housed).

I found myself engrossed within the pages of this story, and I came to quite like the two boys, and I was willing them to make it through this terrible journey. Everyone makes mistakes, and these two made the Godzilla of all mistakes. But they fought with every ounce of strength and soul left in their bodies, and that comes through in their words.

Lad Lit Book Reviews: Donnie Brasco: Unfinished Business by Jospeh D. Pistone

Donnie Brasco: My Undercover Life in the Mafia is one of my favourite books. The bravery and courage of FBI Special Agent Joseph D. Pistone to remain undercover within New York’s Bonnano crime family for six years was nothing short of amazing, especially when I consider that I’d probably shit myself within about six minutes if I was in the same situation.

That’s the great advantage of books; you get to imagine yourself as that character, and as Donnie Brasco I got to whack wiseguys (that’s killing gangsters for those of you not in the know) and make my bones (badge of honour for killing, not a sexual reference). The one disadvantage of books is sometimes all your questions have not been answered and you want the story to continue.

So you can imagine how keen I was to get hold of a copy of Pistone’s new memoirs which fill in a few of the gaps and the aftermath of that exciting – yet bloody dangerous – period in his life.

What happened to Donnie’s partner in crime Benjamin “Left Guns” Ruggerio? Did they ever find out who killed Sonny Black and stuffed him in a trunk of a car? What was it like for Pistone to face down the bad guys in court who he had spent the best part of half a decade living amongst? Did Pistone go on to infiltrate the cult who are brainwashing young impressionable minds to buy Justin Bieber records?

Pistone says that during the publication of his first novel, he was still appearing in court to give evidence at numerous Mafioso trials. In fact, he was in court more times than Lindsay Lohan! The result was over 200 convictions for some of New York’s most unsavoury Italian-American characters. What it also meant was that Pistone was unable to give a true tell-all account of his time deep undercover.

In the first book, he stressed that he never engaged in any criminal activity due to the fact it would compromise his position as an FBI Agent and could harm his evidence later on. I remember thinking at the time – and to pluck a phrase from the Karl Pilkington phrase book – bullshit! How could you spend six years living in the pockets of the New York underworld and not get involved with a bit of illegal behaviour?!

In Unfinished Business, Pistone is able to go into detail about all the pistol whipping, all the hijacking, and all the ‘whaddya mean I’m funny’ confrontations and bitch slapping! Pistone even goes as far to say that if push came to shove, he would have murdered another gangster if it came down to him or them!

Luckily for Pistone it never quite got to that situation, but what we are able to find out is not only how his undercover operation impacted his case, but how it also impacted the cases of other undercover operations. As New York hoodlum ‘Donnie Brasco’, Pistone was able to add credibility other FBI sting operations by going in and vouching for his fellow undercover agents to other bad guys.

Pistone also uses the book to dispel some of the myths created by the movie (that starred Johnny Depp and Al Pacino). In the film, Depp’s ‘Brasco’ is battles with a guilty conscious about the potential ramifications his undercover operation will have on mobster Ben ‘Lefty Guns’ Ruggerio, but Pistone insists such thoughts never entered his head – he was there to do a job against an ‘enemy to America’ and that is exactly what he did. Screw you Lefty!

Pistone was called to the stand for some of the biggest organised crime trials over the past 20-30 years including the Pizza Connection and the Mafia Commission case. He was still being used by prosecution cases against the mob as recently as 2006 when he took to the stand in the trial of Bonanno boss "Big Joey" Massino.

For me the book is an entertaining read, but only works if you’ve read the first book for obvious reasons. I also think because it is a series of stories, it’s not as enthralling as the first book, but that shouldn’t take the glass off too much.  What is allows is for Pistone and the reader to tie up the loose ends, and to truly appreciate the impact his work had on help bring down the mob. Well done Joe, take a bow son!

Lad Lit Book Reviews: The Damage Done by Warren Fellows

The opening few sentences of this book grab hold of you in a vice like grip and attempts to prepare the reader for what is to come. 'Think about the most wretched day of your life' the author asks the reader to contemplate, 'and then imagine 4,000 of those days together in one chunk.'

Australian drug-smuggler Warren Fellows doesn't pull any punches, nor does he ask for your sympathy. But he wants his story to be told, because reading what this man went through - no matter what his crime - leaps at you off the pages like a Thai prison warden bashing you across the head with a bamboo stick.

It's powerful stuff; frightening and unthinkable to imagine that right now - somewhere in the world at this very minute - another human being is suffering the way Fellows suffered for 12 years.

After operating as a cocaine smuggler, an introduction to infamous gangster Neddy Smith leads to Fellows pairing up with Smiths brother-in-law Paul Hayward and sending them to Thailand to smuggle heroin into Australia. 

What Fellows and Hayward didn't realise is that they were already under surveillance before they even left the country, and their world was about to fall apart. Following their arrest and conviction in 1978, the pair are shipped around Thailand's most notorious prisons. Here they suffer such inhumane conditions that will go on to have long lasting effects.

Despite reaching into an intense darkness to tell his tale, Fellows still manages to maintain an engaged tone throughout, and at times can be very amusing. The story about how much inmates have to pay to have sex with a good looking pig (yes, you read that correctly) is delivered with such dry sarcasm that you can't help but smile at the absurdity of the horrible situation he is in.

I've read a few books in this genre and this one is right up there with my favourite In the Shadow of Papillon. Perhaps not the sort of book you want to read on a flight to Bangkok, but then again it will certainly make you think twice about what you get up to at those Full Moon parties!

Lad Lit Book Reviews: In The Shadow of Papillon by Frank Kane

Survival is an eight-letter word that after reading this book, you’ll never feel able to justify using again in a sentence to describe an experience you have gone through. Because after you have read what this man went through, survival was shown to be a whole new meaning to me!

To say I was blown-away after reading this book would not do this unbelievable and frightening story justice. Putting to one side your views on the evils of drugs and those who help bring it into our country, no one should have to experience the tale that Frank Kane somehow lived to tell.

Most men would like to think they could puff out their chests and deal with any situation they are faced with. But I’m not too sure I could deal with five minutes of the horror that is described in this book. Imagine arriving in a strange land and immediately being faced with a group of knife wielding men who are threatening to kill you and your only way to protect yourself is to find your own knife and fight back. We're not talking about a disagreement in the office here! And that is what Frank had to deal with every day while locked up.

Frank doesn’t really go into too much detail of how he lost his business and ended up desperate enough to agree to smuggle cocaine out of Venezuela with his girlfriend, Sam, and neither does he ask for the readers sympathy. But what he does go into detail about is the sheer hell in which he lived for seven years in one of the most violent and brutal penal systems in the world.

The book takes its name and inspiration from the moment Frank arrives at El Dorado prison, better known for being the one-time home of Henri Charrière, or Papillon. From the moment he steps through those prison gates, Frank enters a world where even the prison guards refuse to enter, instead choosing to police the prison from the outside on the perimeter.

What this means is that Frank is housed in an overcrowded population of murderers, rapists, and gang members armed to the teeth with all manner of weapons from machetes to machine guns and even hand grenades.

Some of his accounts are nothing short staggering. Frank tells of the night one of the gang leaders breaks down a wall to enter the cell where he is sleeping and viciously murders another prisoner right in front of Frank’s eyes, who is then forced to remain in the cell for the rest of the night with the corpse out of fear of reprisals should he attempt to even move the body.

This book is totally jaw-dropping from start to finish, and without a doubt the best prison book I’ve ever read. It is not going to be to everyone’s taste, but if you are a fan of the genre (or even a fan of seeing how far the human spirit can be pushed) then I can’t recommend this highly enough.

Lad Lit Book Reviews: Donnie Brasco by Jospeh D. Pistone

The term ‘blew me away’ is perhaps used far too often when it comes to book reviews, but I can safely say that this is one book that left me truly astonished and open-mouthed with every page turn.

Special FBI Agent Jospeh. D Pistone spent five years working undercover as a mafia associate in the Bonnano New York crime family. A film was made in 1997 based on his life starring Johnny Depp and Al Pacino, but like most films based on books, you only get half the story on the big screen.

Pistone’s memoirs delve deep into the background of his story of how a 3-month undercover operation going after a truck hijacking ring turns into a him living, breathing, sleeping, and eating his way through the Mafioso lifestyle.

Back in the late 70s and early 80s, the US government waged a war against the powerful crime families running New York, but unlike today’s sophisticated techniques of undercover operations, Pistone was almost left to make up the rules as he went along.

He encounters some very dangerous people along the way, including an incident when he is led down into a basement and told that unless his story and background checks out, he faces a bullet in the head. Not your every day boardroom situation!

But this isn’t just a book about the violence and cold stark reality of mobsters who once ran the American underworld. Pistone tells of the impact this ‘lifestyle’ had on his family. And at times you can’t help but laugh at some of the situations and stories Pistone relays, especially those that involve Lefty Ruggiero; the gangster ‘Donnie Brasco’ becomes closest to.

Pistone’s story is one of true courage. His testimony eventually led to hundreds of arrests and played a major role in the foundations of the American Mafia crumbling to its knees.

This is a truly enjoyable thrill-ride of a read, and one which you need to keep reminding yourself is true! If you only ever read one more gangster book (after The Godfather of course), then make it this one!

Lad Lit Book Reviews! Accardo: The Genuine Godfather by William F. Roemer, Jr

Any man that is nicknamed Joe Batters because he beat two men to death with a baseball bat is probably not the sort of man you want to mess with. Add to the fact that he got his monicker from Al Capone – the most notorious Mafioso of them all – only adds fuel to fire that this is one vicious gangster.

And who else better to tell his story than the one man who tried for years – yet never succeeded – to bring Tony Accardo to justice than former FBI Agent William F. Roemer, Jr. Whilst the likes of Capone and John Gotti will inevitably go down in American folklore as the two most well-known gangsters of the 20th Century, it was men like Accardo who achieved the highest status within their criminal underworld circles as one of the most powerful Mafia bosses in the history of the American Mafia.

For seven decades Accardo, a.k.a. Big Tuna, was embroiled in a life of crime, from his teenage years in street gangs to being recruited as a member of the Chicago Outfit in 1926. Roemer maps out Accardo’s life as a career criminal from his participation in the infamous St Valentine’s Day Massacre to seizing control of The Outfit in the 1940s.

Throughout the book Roemer speaks in a tone of grudging respect for Joe Batters (being a good family man, his foresight to expand the former Capone regime into new territories that greatly increased their power and wealth). but at the same time keeps the reader focused on the fact that this was a ruthless and merciless man, who had murdered his way to the top with some incredibly vicious and torturous methods.

Roemer uses his many experiences with Accardo and The Outfit to try and paint us a picture of how this criminal organization used the great wealth made from the prohibition era to sustain a period of dominance that would see the American Mafia wield power the like they have never seen again. Men like Accardo made that happen, rather than the ‘celebrity’ gangsters that are referenced in popular culture. Mobster Paul “The Waiter” Ricca summed Joe Batters up by saying, "Accardo had more brains for breakfast than Capone had in a lifetime."

This story is not simply portrayed as a ‘Good vs Evil’ story which would have been easy coming from a law enforcement officer who was never able to put one of his biggest nemesis’ behind bars. Instead Roemer takes a more human approach to the murderous men he is writing about; such as detailing their wishes for their sons to never follow them into this life.

In the end Roemer can only reflect on the ground work that the FBI laid in those days to help bring the mob of today to its knees. Men like Accardo will remain infamous through the annals of time, but that part of history that should not be neglected. After all, we are talking about a street thug who was expelled from school at 14 and went on to become leader of one of the most powerful – if not the most powerful – factions of the American underworld, before dying at the age of 86 a free man. Lessons can only be learned from men who rule with an iron fist just like Joe Batters did.

Perhaps not my favourite book about the American Mafia, but certainly worth a read if this is a genre that interests you.

Lad Lit Book Reviews: Blow by Bruce Porter

After watching the film of the same name in which Johnny Depp depicts drug smuggler George Jung, I found myself wondering if I too should put together a high-scale cocaine smuggling operation. After all, it seemed like fun. All those parties, traveling to exotic locations, marrying Penelope Cruz. What is there not to like about it?! Okay, there is the small case of incarceration in one of America’s most notorious prisons, so before I jump at setting myself up with some unsavory Colombian friends, maybe I should explore this little venture in a bit more detail.

And that has how I found myself reading Bruce Porter’s account of How a Small-Town Boy Made $100 Million with the Medellin Cocaine Cartel and Lost It All and here is a quick spoiler – I won’t be following up on any of those dreams of starting up my own magic Charlie (minus the chocolate) Factory.

George Jung is and was a charismatic character, who lived a spectacular life, before his spectacularly major f*ck-up at the end which saw him finally locked up for pretty much the rest of his days (he was sentenced to 60 years although he is eligible for release in November 2014). And this was the real reason I wanted to read the book – I wanted to know what happened to the man who had everything but threw it all away (even if he did get it by breaking the law!). This was, after all, a man who at one point was responsible for 90% of the cocaine smuggled into America. In layman's terms, that's a shit load of coke!

The pace of the book starts off slow, with perhaps a bit too much detail and opinion from Porter on Jung’s middle class upbringing in Massachusetts as a star high school football player. But the action starts to move along at a quicker pace once Jung arrives at university and embraces himself in the hippy 60s culture of smoking weed. But where others saw peace and love, George saw a profit and before long he was smuggling marijuana up and down the country. Even his first arrest and imprisonment didn’t deter the young man known as Boston George, especially when your cellmate happens to be mates with Pablo Escobar and offers you an in to his Medellin Cartel.

Carlos Lehder – Jung’s German/Colombian cellmate who helps open up the door to vast wealth and piles of cocaine that would make Tony Montana enviously sulk in the corner – is the catalyst for Jung’s rise and downfall. From living in a mansion where the walls are stashed with $100 bills to car-bombs and a heart-attack by his mid-30s due to too much cocaine abuse (not to mention flying out to meet Escobar and watching him execute a man), it all takes its toll on Jung who spirals out of control in a wave of paranoia and betrayal.

The rest, without going into too much detail and perhaps ruining it for anyone wants to give this a read, is a colourful and often toxic cocktail of the highs and lows Jung faced as millions of dollars poured through his hands as he single-handedly made cocaine the fashionable drug for many Americans during the 70s and 80s. Porter has done his homework, and goes into great detail to fill in a lot of gaps the film missed out. It is this insight that offers the reader so much more than depth to the complex character of George Jung; a sort-of modern-day Robin Hood until that inevitable ending when he lets the reader down just when you have bought into that fairytale.

Blow is an extraordinary story of greed and power, and ranks alongside our very own Mr Nice Howard Marks as one of those old school drug lords that you just can't help but like. No happy endings here, but one hell of a roller coaster that will throw you off the tracks at a 100mph!

Lad Lit Book Reviews: The Bootleggers by Kenneth Allsop

Imagine wandering into your local with the boys on a Saturday night for that first drink of the day, only to be told that the sale and manufacturing of alcohol had been banned and deemed illegal to do so across the nation. You can almost hear the uproar from the daily Weatherspoon contingent of heavy drinkers, bemoaning the fact that they have nowhere else to spend their job seekers allowance!

I’m not too sure if that is a sad indictment of the fact we rely so heavily on alcohol as part of our social expression, or the fact that we would be well within our rights to rally against the Government to put forward our right to drink Jägerbomb’s when we want!

Whatever the answer, this is what happened in 1920 in the United States when the US Congress enacted a law which did indeed ban the sale and manufacture of alcohol nationwide, and in Kenneth Allsop’s book, he tackles the prohibition era which still remains as popular as ever in film, music, and of course books!

The 13-year ban would play a major role in the rise of the Chicago Outfit headed up by Al Capone, and Allsop not only covers this but also explains the historical and political reasons that led to the ban. Men such as Capone, Johnny Torio, Dion O'Banion and Big Jim Colosimo would seize on the advantage of supply and demand, while law enforcement turned a blind eye as long as they were rewarded. For a law that was created to improve the moral compass of a nation, it backfired spectacularly and simply created a trail of blood that funded street thugs to unimaginable wealth.

This is a good account of the rise of Chicago gangsters, and one that should be able to hold the attention of even a casual reader interested in the subject. Even though Allsop doesn’t shy away from the facts and discusses the frightening actions these men took to clasp Chicago in their grip, he also manages to capture the era through a dry sense of humour which keeps the book moving along at a good pace, and his knowledge on the subject shines through.

I can only really compare this book against the numerous other books I have read on the subject of the American Mafia, and that is the only reason it probably does get higher than a 3-star rating - there are other books I've simply enjoyed more. Due to the fact that the book was written in 1961, Allsop was probably unable to report on some key facts (such as the name and antics of one Joe Kennedy). All in all though, a thorough description of this infamous yet iconic era.