My first sexual offer as a comedian – even if I was third in line!

Diary of a stand-up comedian Entry #36
Jack Whitehall recently said in a magazine interview that he got into comedy to get laid. Personally, I can’t say that is the reason I got into comedy. Mainly because I have a girlfriend and she might read this. But there is nothing wrong with knowing that you’ve still got it!

I’d heard many a comedian say they did comedy to win over the ladies. It’s like the old saying - you can laugh the ladies into bed.

So you can imagine my frustration after nine months of working the open mic circuit, I have not had a friggin’ sniff! Nothing. Not even a friendly smile. I have even purposely avoided gigs where Guy Manners is doing stand-up to increase my chances of being the best looking male comic on that night!

But that all changed yesterday evening down at The Bowery as one audience member said she was bang up for sleeping with me!

Granted she had already made a beeline for Alex Chapman who looked none too impressed by her advances, before she moved on and invited Mr iPhone 4 Gatis Kandis to join her and Alex in a threesome.

If we’re telling the truth I was pretty much an afterthought as she only really brought me into the equation when prompted by one of the other acts to who else she wanted to sleep with in the room, and she casually pointed me out as “the one in the waistcoat can join in too if he wants.”

Obviously I was none too pleased about this and I let her know exactly how I felt with my response: “I’m in my 30’s so I take what I can get these days.”

But as MC Stu Privett had pointed out earlier in the night, she looked like the type of girl that would rip you a new one! So at the end of the night I legged it, with Alex and Gatis not too far behind! We're pathetic.

My debut as a comedy compere!

The Line-Up: Here is the running
order from tonight's gig

Diary of a stand-up comedian Entry #32
Tonight was an absolutely rip-snorting frickin' awesome evening! A few weeks back when I performed at the Laughter Lung, Stu Privett had asked if I fancied MC'ing down at The Bowery in August for him while he was at Edinburgh. I jumped at the chance and tonight was the big night.

I was nervous to begin with but I think I eased into it. It gave me the chance to interact with the audience a bit more, and try some things out that I might not notmally do. I didn't feel quite as much pressure to be funny as I normally do, I guess because that is down to the acts. I'm just there to introduce people!

But I had a really good time, and there was some very funny acts on. Hopefully I'll get the chance to do it again in the future!

Nick Sun is crazy!

Nick Sun: Funny and crazy!

Diary of a stand-up comedian Entry #20
I experienced a lot of first's tonight. It was the first time I had performed on a Sunday evening. It was the first time I performed at the Laughter Lung. And it was the first time I have seen Nick Sun.

Wow. That three-lettered word probably doesn't do the man justice. How about I try WTF?! From the moment this dude stepped on to the stage with his crazy hair waving all over the place, you almost knew that something out of the ordinary was going to happen.

Such as barking like a demented dog! It was the kind of performance you couldn't take your eyes off of! The guy is clearly unhinged (in a comedic way!), and I can imagine that Nick is a bit like marmite - you love him or hate him, and I don't think he really cares either way!

As for my own performance, it seemed to go well. My comedy buddy Stu Privett was also there last night, delivering up his usual array of funny puns. Not a bad gig to end the month for me.

Call me the Karate Kid of the comedy circuit!

Joke on, joke off: Another night
of comedy in Streatham

Diary of a stand-up comedian Entry #9
Another two-week gap without comedy, but Openmic Matt had invited be back to perform again on the third comedy night at The Railway, so I crammed in plenty of writing and came up with some new gags about the 80s (including my Karate Kid impression), Facebook, mum insults, sex texting, and a bit more.

Some of it worked, but for the most part it needs some touching up. Actually, it needs quite a bit of work! I am also starting to realise that in order to improve I need to start looking around at getting more gigs and performing at different venues. I love The Railway, but I'm not too sure 24 gigs a year in Streatham is going to get me to the Hammersmith Apollo!

But I'm still enjoying it and I've met some really cool people down at The Railway in the last few weeks including Elliot Lerner, Raphael Perahia, Bobby Freeman, and Stu Privett. Here is the video clip from last night...