This week the Liverpool FC marketing team went into overdrive when they posted this rather embarrassing football movie mash-up to promote their upcoming pre season tour to the United States. Even as an Everton fan I feel a little sorry for Steven Gerrard; the scars of England's World Cup group stage exit is still fresh in the memory and they welcome their captain home with a task like this. Unlucky Stevie lad!
But after seeing this I decided to trawl the wonderful world wide web to see what other fantastic football inspired movie posters are doing the rounds and I was pleasantly surprised to find quite a few! A big mention must go to those guys over at talkSPORT who were responsible for a fair share of these hilarious images. So enjoy 10 of the best movie poster memes I found after a quick 30 minute Google search...!
1. Luis Suarez
Where else could we start without the king of internet soocer meme's?! There were simply too many to show on this page but these four were my particular favourites: Biteback Mountain, Luis Suarez Gets The Munchies, A Uruguayan Werewolf in Liverpool and Bite Club.
2. David Moyes
Poor old Davey Moyes got his fair share of flack following his first and only season in charge of Manchester United that the movie 1 Year a Manager probably would have been a box office flop too, and I doubt that the Class of '14 will be remembered with quite the same affection as those lads from 1992.
3. Andre Vilas Boas
Another manager who got the photoshop treatment after things didn't quite go according to plan was AVB after his unsuccessfil stint in charge of Chelsea. Get Chelsea and The Shining had Stamford Bridge shaking in their boots!
4. Jose Mourinho
The Special One is another Chelsea manager with his own movie poster mash-up fame but Jose Mourinho gets a slightly easier ride as both sides of his personality are depicted in The Godfather and The Special One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest.
5. Wayne Rooney
Wazza is no stranger to tabloid teasing and he must have known he was in for a bit of stick when he decided to have hair transplant treatment and alas The Hair Stitch Project was born.
6. Joey Barton
The king of Twitter rants is no stranger to controversy and following his sending off for QPR in that game against Manchester City he became the star of Dude, Where's My Card and Dumb and Dumber.
7. Charlie Adam
There was no love lost when Charlie Adam went up against Gareth Bale as twice the tough tackling Scot inflicted injury on the Welsh Wizard leading to movie classics such as Kill Bale, Kickboxer and Chopper.
8. Arsene Wenger
Until last season's FA Cup success Arsenal fans had endured a nine-year trophy drought which would lead to many rival fans taunting them about a trophy hangover or in this case The Wengover.
9. Kenny Dalglish
The Liverpool legends final brush with management was bittersweet as he was criticised for a number of his decisions including agreeing to pay £35m for Andy Carroll. Some might say he was The Delusionist.
10. Ron Atkinson
Last but by no means least we have Ron Atkinson starring in Ron for no other reason than it rhymes with Tron. And that is good enough for me!
You have to love this modern world in which we live. Back in the day when a big footy story like this broke we had to wait until we got to the pub for the banter to start flying around, but now thanks to social media we have it in instant!
So Kop Dracula have been given a 9-match man from international football and a 4-month global ban from all football activity meaning Luis Suarez can't even enter a football stadium (which is probably seen as a more of a gift if you're a fan of Scottish football). Personally I think the ban is too lenient and I put together a list of appropriate punishments yesterday which would have been far better in my opinion.
But what's done is done and now it's time to let the wonderful world of Facebook, Twitter, Vine and YouTube do what they do best. And here you have it - my personal favourite Luis Suarez meme's in the aftermath of his Fifa ban...!
1. BREAKING: Following news of #Suarez ban, Liverpool have agreed the re-signing of Andy Carroll on a four month loan (via @theRome84 on Twitter)
2. Suarez hearing the news he has only been banned for 4 months... (via Sporting News on Vine)
3. Suajaws (via @Chrisreed619 on Twitter)
4. Playstation release a "cheat" as to how to bite with Luis Suarez on FIFA (via @BenchWarmers on Twitter)
5. Suarez bit my finger (via Soccer Hype on Vine)
6. Suarez was here (via @Brilliant_Ads on Twitter)
7. BREAKING: Luis Suarez has this morning been captured by Brazilian Police (via @BBCSporf on Twitter)
8. Rickie Lambert reacts to news that Luis Suarez will be out for 4 months! (via @TSBible on Twitter)
9. Luis Suarez has a new video game (via James Dator on Vine)
10. Just met Louis on the beach!!!! (via @chris_kammy on Twitter)
Roy Hodgson could not have planned it better himself. As England's worst World Cup performance since 1958 ended in a rather uninspiring goalless draw with Costa Rica, Luis Suarez was doing his best to make sure he grabbed all the headlines by sinking his teeth into Italy’s Giorgio Chiellini.
Of course, we shouldn't be surprised. Here is a man who has twice bitten opposing players on the field of play previous to this incident, but that is all the more reason why Fifa need to come down on the man universally regarded as football's answer of Hannibal Lecter.
But what can you do to stop this man? Clearly a ban doesn't work and any fine is merely a drop in the ocean for these millionaire footballers. Nope, Fifa need to come up with something that is going to hit Suarez where it hurts. A punishment so bad that he'll never dine out on a sportsman again. So without further ado, here is my top 10 punishments Fifa should impose on Luis Suarez following his World Cup bite...
10. Make him to change his name to Chewy Suarez by deed poll
That's right, the media-imposed name given to Suarez which reflects his tendency to take a bite out of opponents should be forced upon him by law. And not only that, he should be forced to wear a Star Wars Chewbacca costume at all times. If he wants to act like a dog then he should dress like one. And he should not be allowed to return to a football pitch until he has entered Crufts and won. This includes eating nothing but dog feed up until that point. A sniffing butts.
9. Take part in a four-man handicap WWE tag team muzzle match
Suarez is forced to take part in a WWE wrestling match where he must face the three men he has bitten in a no hold barred handicap match where anything goes. Already equipped with wrasslin' nicknames such as The Cannibal of Ajax and The Kop Canine, plus his trademark finishing move The Chomp, Suarez will feel right at home in the WWE despite the fact he has the odds stacked against him by taking on Otman Bakkal, Branislav Ivanovic and Giorgio Chiellini. The big stipulation in this one is that is Suarez loses he must wear a muzzle for the rest of his days.
8. Restrict his earning power by selecting what products he can endorse
A £100,000 fine might not make much of a dent in Suarez's pocket, but if FIFA were to enforce an embargo on what he can and can't endorse, not only would that hit him in his pocket but we could all have a bit of fun at his expense. So forget Nike and Adidas, from now on Suarez has to endorse kids games like Hungry Hippo, or in this case Hungry Hungry Suarez. And furthermore, Suarez should be forced to stand in for other footballer's ad campaigns which means England fans only have to suffer the humiliation of their team exiting competitions early rather than putting up with the terrible efforts of Joe Hart or Daniel Sturridge trying to flog shampoo and sandwiches.
7. Carry out community service with Shaun Custis
It's fair to say that Suarez is not a fan of the British press. He genuinely believes that a lot of his issues in England stem from an agenda set by the journo's rather than say, oh I don't know, racially abusing Patrice Evra! Not 48 hours prior to his third installment of is very own Jaws sequel (see below), Suarez was having a little dig by saying his two-goal heroics against England was spurred on by the bad press he receives in the UK. Even after that Chiellini bite the Uruguay camp were insisting the whole incident was nothing but a conspiracy dreamed up by the English! So with no love lost there whatsoever, what better way to punish Suarez than by making him carry out community service at a British tabloid? And to make matters worse, let's put him under the tutelage of that wally Shaun Custis at The Sun. With a bit of luck Suarez will sink his fangs into that prized plonker.
6. Torture him by making him watch the same video again and again and again...
Torture comes in many different forms. Sleep deprivation is one form while US interrogators take to blasting loud rock music at irregular intervals to break prisoners of war. Well if Luis Suarez insists on biting people time and time again he should be forced to endure his actions time and time again. Add to this video the soundtrack of Another One Bites The Dust continuously playing on loop in the background and Suarez will hopefully learn his lesson. I would have suggested making him watch Robbie Savage's Greatest Footballing Moments but that video would be shorter than the one below. Besides, it's not like Suarez killed anyone - even that punishment would be tad too severe here.
5. Hand him a probation period where he must wear a lampshade on his head
Whatever the punishment dealt out to Suarez, there needs to be some sort of probation period put in place when he returns, a bit like an electronic tag that a criminal might have to wear when released from prison. In this circumstance Suarez should only be allowed to play if he wears a pet lampshade collar, just in case the moment takes him again...
4. Make him shower naked with Tony Pulis
Just ask James Beattie about this one - a wet, naked and angry Tony Pulis is not a sight you want to encounter. Back in 2009, the then Stoke manager headbutted striker Beattie while completely starkers (apart from his baseball cap of course) following a defeat to Arsenal. The story goes that Pulis was incensed over a comment Beattie had made about the club's Christmas party so just imagine what he'd do if Suarez tried to take a little nibble out of his Pulis. Finish him!
3. He has to play in vest and pants for a season
It's an indignity we all faced at school. Having forgot to pack your P.E. kit the teacher makes you play in your vest and pants, much to the delight of the other teasing children, and unnervingly looking back, much to the teacher's delight as well. It was the ultimate form of punishment which made sure you never forgot your kit again. For one full season, Suarez should be forced to play in his underwear and not even a note from his mum will make a blind bit of difference. That'll learn ya sunshine!
2. New goal celebration
Twice England fans had to watch that smug little git reel away kissing his wrist last week as Uruguay put England the the sword, and opposing fans of Liverpool saw it all far too often last season. So from now on Fifa should insist that whenever Suarez scores he is not allowed to kiss his wrist and instead must rush towards the crowd in an attempt to kiss the wrists of as many opposing fans as possible, hopefully resulting in a few punches to the face along the way.
1. Force him to play for England
It's the one nightmare footballer's fear the most. Penalty misses, early tournament exits, your skipper shagging your bird - there is an endless list of woes from pulling on the white of England. So what better punishment for Luis Suarez than forcing him to play for England with no chance of early international retirement. Better still, once Suarez does finally hang up the boots he should be put in place as England manager to prolong the excruciating pain. You think a life sentence is bad? Try 48 years of hurt. Boom!
Can you frickin' believe it? Luis Suarez is up to his old tricks again. They say it comes it three's and it seems as though Suarez is no exception to the rule as it is believed he has bitten Italy's Giorgio Chiellini during their World Cup match this afternoon. You couldn't make it up. This is the third time the Liverpool striker has bitten an opponent on the field of play - they should use the three strike rule: three bites and you're out! Ban him!
Luis Suarez is legging it from Stevie Gerrard and Liverpool
Luis Suarez has once again reiterated his desire to leave Liverpool Football Club. In recent weeks the controversial Uruguayan striker has cited press victimization as the reason behind his decision to quit Anfield.
Suarez is currently serving a lengthy ban for gnawing away at Branislav Ivanovic's arm at the end of last season, and he has said that if Real Madrid or Barceolna come knocking then Liverpool have to listen to their offers.
I have been quietly chuckling away to myself while this little saga has been going on. Not because I'm an Everton fan and can't wait to see the back of him, and it has nothing to do with the fact that Liverpool fans have blindly stuck by Suarez through the racism row and the biting ban and now he is throwing it back in their faces.
No, I'm allowing myself a sly giggle because I know the real truth behind Suarez's decision to quit Liverpool! The blaming of the British media is nothing more than a smokescreen to cover-up a very bad practical joke gone bad, and it all started with some classic David Brent-esque behaviour from one Brendan Rodgers...
With England managing to secure a 2-2 draw in Brazil at the Maracana last night, the curtain has finally come down on the 2012/13 season. This is one of the most difficult times for a football fan because it now means we have exactly 10 weekends without a ball being kicked. That's 10 weekends without the banter from Jeff Stelling and the boys on Soccer Saturday,10 weekends without any dry wit from Gary Lineker on Match of the Day, and 10 weekends without any classic quotes from Gary Neville on Super Sunday.
Still, on the plus side it does mean we get a break from Andy Townsend's pants commentary on ITV! Every cloud...
So now is a great time to reflect on the season and to look back on what was my top 10 Football Fun moments of the 2012/13 season (counting down from 10)...
10. Curtis Woodhouse tracks down and confronts Twitter troll!
Former footballer-turned-boxer Curtis Woodhouse delivered a knock-out blow to Twitter troll James O'Brien after tracking him down to his house following a series of abusive tweets. The ex-Sheffield United and Birmingham City midfielder - who quit football for boxing in 2006 - offered to pay £1,000 on Twitter if any of his followers could tell him where O'Brien lived after he received a volley of abuse from the troll following his English light-welterweight title defeat to Shane Singleton in March.
Within minutes of his offer, Woodhouse had O'Brien's address and jumped in his car to drive the 60 miles from Hull to Sheffield to confront the culprit, and then tweeted a photo of O'Brien's street, saying: 'right Jimbob im here !!!!! someone tell me what number he lives at, or do I have to knock on every door #itsshowtim'. O'Brien was quick to backtrack and the newly christened #JimmyBrownPants made a grovelling apology. As word spread Woodhouse drew widespread support from the likes of Lennox Lewis and John Prescott, handing him one of the sweetest victories of his career!
9. Elmohamady and Holloway express their promotion delight through dance!
The ecstasy of reaching the promised land of the Premier League was too much for some players and managers to hide. First we had to endure a horrifying display of skanking out from Ahmed Elmohamady (see video clip here) after Hull City gained automatic promotion, before old snake hips himself, Ian Holloway, cut some serious shapes after Crystal Palace had booked themselves a place at Wembley for the Playoff Final.
8. Everyone bloody retires! With United wrapping the
title up with four games to go and Wigan failing to save themselves for
their usual final day of the season Houdini act, there was very little
to play for on that final Sunday. So in order to give fans something to
get interested in (because let's face it, no one cared about the race
for fourth unless you were Arsenal or Gareth Bale FC), a glut of
football luminaries decided to call it a day including Sir Alex
Ferguson, Paul Scholes, Jamie Carragher, and Michael Owen.
Not to be outdone, David Beckham then threw his notice into the hat and stole the thunder by blubbing like a baby...!
7. That Robin Van Persie volley against Aston Villa
A sensational Robin Van Persie hat-trick roared Manchester United to a 3-0 victory over Aston Villa and ripped back the Premiership title from their rivals Manchester City. But this is a game that will be remembered for that stunning volley.
Words simply can't do this goal justice, which is why it's best just to sit back and enjoy it in all its magnificent glory...
6. Dave Whelan breaks Guinness World Record for telling the same story 312,977 times in 24 hours
As if the fairytale of little old Wigan winning the FA Cup against the mighty and mega-rich Manchester City wasn't a big enough story itself, one man was determined to upstage them with an even bigger fable of his own! The fact that man happened to be Wigan's chairman Dave Whelan didn't seem to phase him as he regaled his tale of breaking his leg whilst playing for Blackburn in the 1960 showpiece more times than Uncle Albert started sentences with the phrase "During the war..."
Even Ben Watson's last minute winner couldn't stop Whelan from banging on about the time Wolves winger Norman Deeley's horror tackle ended his career, and rumour has it that Roberto Martinez actually left Wigan not because they were relegated, but because he couldn't stand to hear the story one more time!
5. Zlatan leads Swedish goal fest against England and Germany
All in all, it hasn't been a bad season for Zlatan Ibrahimovic. The big Swede helped himself to 29 goals and the Ligue 1's Player of the Year as Paris Saint-Germain captured their first league title in 19 years. But none of that - even the sight of the 6'5 martial arts expert yelling "You always ruin everything" to PSG Director of Football Leonardo in a leaked video clip - can compete with Zlat's exploits with Sweden this season.
First came the incredible Swedish comeback from 4-0 down against Germany in the World Cup qualifiers in October to draw 4-4 after an injury time equaliser, and then came November's outing against England as Ibrahimovic tore the Three Lion's apart with four fantastic goals, including a wondergoal to beat all wondergoals.
4. Gareth Bale FC finishes fifth
When you read that Real Madrid are prepared to bid upwards of £65m for a player two things are for certain: a) That player is pretty special and b) The club presidential elections must be around the corner!
The Welsh Wizard has had a season to remember, picking up every individual award going, yet he was unable to help Spurs clinch that final Champions League spot. Even more unfortunate is that for a man who scores an abundance of spectacular goals, his goal celebration is pretty shit. He is lucky that Liverpool's Daniel Sturridge has an even more ridiculous celebration. Word of advice lads - type Ian Wright's name into YouTube and watch how to do a proper celebration!
3. Late drama breaks Brentford hearts
For all the razz-a-ma-tazz of the Premier League, the biggest end of season drama took place at Griffin Park where the League One match between Brentford and Doncaster Rovers saw two teams battling it out for a place in the Championship.
In the dying seconds of the game Brentford surged forward looking for a goal that would earn promotion and were awarded a penalty. Up stepped Marcello Trotta to crash the ball against the bar, and to add insult to injury, the ball was cleared up field and James Coppinger scored the goal that secured Doncaster automatic promotion instead.
In a bizarre similar circumstance a couple of weeks later, Watford advanced to the Championship Playoff Final in a almost carbon copy of what happened at Griffin Park, when after Leicester's Anthony Knockaert saw his penalty saved in the final minute, Watford went straight down the other end and scored through Troy Deeney.
2. Pep Guardiola leaves the best team in the world to join the best team in the world
Pep Guardiola's season-long sabbatical came to an end when it was announced in January that he would be replacing Jupp Heynckes as the Bayern Munich manager for the 2013/14 season.
You have to feel sorry for Pep. First time round he had the tough task of trying to assemble Messi, Xavi, Iniesta and co into some sort of team, and now he has to take over the record-breaking German champions who managed to dismantle his old team Barcelona in emphatic style on route to beating Borussia Dortmund to be crowned champions of Europe. What a nightmare!
Of course, Pep isn't the real story here - Bayern Munich are. Not only did they destroy the so-called best team the world has ever seen 7-0 over two legs in the Champions League semi-final, but they pretty much broke every record going on their way winning the Bundesliga, before finishing the season with a 3-2 win over VfB Stuttgart in the German Cup final to become only the seventh European team in history to win the treble!
1. Luis Suarez has a quick snack during game
What else is there left to say about Luis Suarez? Hopefully 'goodbye' if recent speculation about his future with Liverpool is anything to go by. Not content with the controversy caused last season following his ban for racism, the Uruaguayan decided to go back in time by biting Chelsea player Branislav Ivanovic during a game - something he had done previously when playing for Ajax.
Of course, Liverpool fans banded together to say the rest of us were all picking on Suarez, but after his recent comments about wanting to leave the club (because he has been treated so unfairly!) even Reds fans must now be coming round to the fact that he is nothing but one horrible little man. And just in case they are still not convinced, then watch this...
