The Drought enters the Shirley You Jest Book Awards!

This evening I entered The Drought into the second annual Shirley You Jest Book Awards! The eBook version of the book qualifies as an updated version of The Drought was uploaded to Smashwords in November 2012.

About Shirley You Jest Book Awards!
Shirley You Jest! Book Awards reprises its role as the only indie comedy and humor book contest to offer publicity-based prizes. Presented by Liz D Publicity & Promotions, SYJ! honors books by self-published and traditionally published independent authors that "deliver the funny.” The contest is open to fiction and non-fiction e-book and print titles released between 2012 and 2013. Entries are accepted May 20, 2013 – July 22, 2013.

Since its premiere last year, Shirley You Jest! Book Awards has received accolades from the indie book community. Shirley Award-winning author Robin O’Bryant credits the contest with having helped with the sales of her self-published motherhood memoir, Ketchup is a Vegetable and Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves. “One of the greatest obstacles facing indie publishers is the high cost of marketing and advertising . . . SYJ! helped [me] with all of this . . . by expanding my audience and helping me find new readers,” says O’Bryant.

On November 1, 2013, National Author’s Day, Shirley Awards will be presented to the two funniest entries in the fiction and non-fiction categories. Winning authors will receive media exposure from SYJ! sponsors that include author interviews, book reviews, special blog features and social media mentions. The list of participating US, Canadian and UK prize sponsors include: Underground Book Reviews, Book Guys podcast, Morgen Bailey’s Writing Blog, Author Groupie, The Paperback Pursuer, The Humor Columnist, The Bunny’s Review, Humor Times, Conversations LIVE Radio, Conversations Magazine, Lisa Haselton’s Reviews and Interviews, Reading Addiction Blog Tour, Dudes and Stuff Podcast, Humor Writers of America, Tiffany Talks Books, TeamNerd Reviews, Doing Dewey and Indie Minded Radio Show.

Wish me luck!

The dream to be the Next Big Thing comes to an end... for now!

Diary of a stand-up comedian Entry #52
After such a fantastic response from the judges in my first round heat in the Next Big Thing talent competition, I was met with a somewhat subdued reaction from the crowd at Confex at the London Excel arena today.

The fact I had not performed in three months wasn't actually the issue though. It was more to do with the fact that I was in completely alien environment! I am used to performing in pubs and bars, but this was totally different! Despite the professional stage and being able to say I performed at the 'London Excel', I was in fact having to perform a rather risqué comedy routine in the middle of a trade show exhibition at around midday!

My anecdotes of failed encounters with the opposite sex and that dwarf story did not go down too well with business people who were there to look at how different products and services might improve their business! Still, it was a pretty cool experience and because I decided before the end of the year that I was going to take a break from the comedy scene, I wasn't too bothered when the audience gave me a pretty average score.

The talent agency Sternberg Clarke said it best on their blog when they wrote: Stand-Up Comedian Steven Scaffardi had been a crowd favourite in the first heat at Jewel for Event Magazine's Christmas Party but struggled to overcome the challenges of performing at a trade show; a lesson for any performer there - be ready to adapt to your surroundings.

I guess I won't hold my breath waiting for a call from the Plumbers Trade Show Live event to give me a call then about performing! 

Coverage in Event magazine!

So this weeks last-minute entry into the Next Big Thing comedy competition got me a little mention on the Event magazine website. You can check out the article below or be clicking here. There was also coverage on the Sternberg Clarke blog.


Event Christmas party rocks Jewel Covent Garden 
by Chantelle Dietz

Event's annual Christmas bash rolled into the West End last night, the great and the good of the industry gathering at Jewel Covent Garden to celebrate the festive season. 

Were you there, or did you miss out last night? Make sure you check out the pictures here. 

The drinks were flowing and the entertainment schedule jam-packed with guests hearing performances from five acts in the first round of The Next Big Thing talent competition. 

Singers Kirsty Keogh, George Ide and Event’s Melody David impressed the judges, but it was comedian Steven Scaffardi and songstress Natalie Bunting who got the most claps from audience, sending them through to the semi final at International Confex in March. 

As the party picked up carnival dancers strutted their stuff on the bar and an exotic dancer roamed the room with a snake draped around her neck.

The Next Big Thing?

Diary of a stand-up comedian Entry #51

So the thing about those indefinite breaks is that they are indefinite! My break from stand-up comedy came to an abrupt end last night when I was asked to stand in as a contestant in The Next Big Thing talent competition. Allow me to try and explain...

Yesterday I spent most of the afternoon drinking at my works office Xmas party. I work for a media company called Haymarket, and around 6pm we headed to Jewel Bar in Covent Garden for the Event magazine Xmas party. Event is one of the magazines we produce at Haymarket, and as media partner with International ConFex, which is the UK's leading event for event organisers, they host one of the first round heats of The Next Big Thing talent competition (which is run by International ConFex in conjunction with entertainment agency Sternberg Clarke) at this Xmas party.

Okay, are you still with me? Good! So we are in the taxi heading to Covent Garden when we get a phone call from Event magazine editor Jeremy King. He tells us that two people have pulled out of the talent competition and he needs two people to stand in.

Remember, I'd had a few drinks at this point so my early retirement from stand-up comedy was a little bit blurred, and I agreed to stand in along with a colleague of mine, Meldoy David, who would sing.

We got there just in time to make the contest, and when it came for me to take to the stage (or to stand on one of the sofas because they were having technical problems with the mic), I was already half-pissed. Getting drunk and getting on stage is something I vowed I would never do after I had crashed and burned after getting a little too drunk earflier on in the year.

But with my inhibitions thrown to one side and a bottle of beer in hand, I gave it a go. There were four judges watching, including Sternberg Clarke director Adam Sternberg, and the feedback was really positive.

After the six acts had done their thing, it was down to the audience to put their favourite through and then the judges got to choose one act. Singer Natalie Buntting got the audience vote, and the judges gave me the nod!

 

So this means I am now through to the semi-final in March where I'll be performing at - and this is the best bit - the London Excel! I kid you not! Apparently if I get through to the final, I perform in front of around 1,500 people! And if you win, you get a £1,000, a stand at ConFex 2013, and a 12-month contract with Sternberg Clarke! These guys have the likes of Micky Flanagan and Tim Minchin on their books.

You couldn't make this shit up!

Perhaps I should get some practice in before!

Second interview with the Sutton Guardian

Sophia Sleigh from the Sutton Guardian interviewed me at the Golden Jester comedy competition final last week. Here is her write-up...


Comedy Gold
by Sophia Sleigh

The final of a comedy competition took place in Sutton last week, writes Sophia Sleigh.

Great Comedy Nights' Golden Jester competition was held at the Holiday Inn, on Wednesday, December 7.

The audience voted for the wittiest stand-up and an X-Factor style panel of judges, including representatives from the Sutton Guardian and hotel manager Marco Firk, 52, decided the overall winner.

The show was the culmination of several months' worth of auditions and was orgainsed by Alan Sellers, 53, from Epsom.

Mr Sellers doubled up as the compere for the night, and joked that out of the 200 comedians who auditioned, they had gone through "the good, the bad, and the ugly" to get to the final five acts.

Steve Scaffardi, 33, frfom Carshalton, came runner-up in the competition, along Chris Blackmore, 17, from Raynes Park.

Mr Scaffardi was the most contemporary comedian, making tongue-in-cheek jokes about the racist tram lady from Croydon and this summer's riots.

He provided cringe-worthy sketches, which made the men in the audience nod their heads in acknowledgment and their girlfriends laugh in embarrassment.

Just after his performance, Mr Scaffardi said: "It's been good fun - stand-up is always something I thought about doing and you get such a good buzz when you do it.

"I take a lot from my experiences and try to find things people can relate to.

"You know by the crowd's reaction how you are doing and tonight's my 50th gig."

The well-deserved winner of the overall competition was Iranian comedian Vahid Jananguard, 58, from Oxford, who had the audience members crying with laughter and was a hit with the judges.

Mr Sellers said: "It was really excellent, it was the first year of the competition and we were using this year as a gauge. We already have 400 comedians entering next year.

"Comedians have heard it was a fair competition and it shows by the fact Vahid won and didn't bring a large audience to support him."

For further information on the Golden Jester competition 2012, visit greatcomedynights.co.uk

Close, but no cigar... or a winners medal!

Diary of a stand-up comedian Entry #50
So my last gig of the year took place last night in the Golden Jester comedy competition and I had to settle for the runners-up spot alongside Chris Blackmore, finishing behind the winner Vahid Janahguard.

It is always nice to take top spot, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to win, but I think I knew early on it was going to be tough. I drew the short straw, literally, and had to take the dreaded opening spot on the evening. My set went well, and I delivered 10 minutes with some new stuff, including my input on the racist tram lady!

Then in true X-Factor style, it was time for the dreaded judges feedback. Stand-up comedian Spencer Hayes gave me the thumbs-up, as did the Sutton Guardian's Sophia Sleigh. But then I had my Simon Cowell moment in shape of Holiday Inn manager, Marco Firk from Holland.

"I didn't appreciate the foul and vulgar language," the Dutchman informed me and the audience to a chrous of boos and jeers.

I knew I was up against tough competition on the night, with Darren Walsh and James Michael Alderson making up the final five, but I was pleased to hear my name being read out in the top three. I also know how these compeitions work, and the fact I had strong support for the local gig in Sutton obviosuly played a factor with the audience voting.

Still, I like to think that after my first 12 months on the scene it was a well deserved pat on the back. Getting up there on the stage isn't easy and I applaud anyone who does it.

As long as they're funny of course. Some people I have seen over the last 12 months should probably just kill themselves to put us all out of our misery, but hey, that's just my opinion! :o)

Despite taking the runner-up spot, I think I will still go ahead and take an indefinite break from the stand-up circuit. It has been great fun, but I feel it is time to take a rest.

But it is nice to go out with a bang, and compere Alan Sellers had some nice words to say about me: "Steve always delivers, despite the fact that he is a relatively new addition to the comedy circuit. With great stage presence and excellent varied material, he would appeal to virtually any type of audience."

All good things come to an end...

Diary of a stand-up comedian Entry #49
It is just a week away from the big night, but I am seriously thinking that whatever happens in the Golden Jester final, I think I might hang the comedy gloves up, so to speak, or at least take a bit of a break.

The last 12 months have been great fun, but trying to juggle the day job, gigging in the evening, and promoting The Drought has finally started to take its toll.

Nothing has been decided yet, and you never say never, but recently it has been nagging away at me - especially when you turn up at a bar and there are three people in the crowd!After next weeks gig, I would have done 50 gigs and 12 months on the circuit. I think that is a decent run!

Gig Number 50: Golden Jester Comedy Final

Diary of a stand-up comedian Entry #48
 After nearly a year of performing and 49 gigs later, I am getting ready for next weeks Golden Jester Final and my 50th stand-up gig.

It's a nice round number and it would be great to finish the year on a high. So please come on down if you can on Wednesday, December 7 at the Holiday Inn in Sutton from 7.45pm. It is certain to be a great night - click here for more details!

I blame it on the man flu!

Diary of a stand-up comedian Entry #46

Last night I went crashing out of the Laughing Horse New Act of the Year 2012 at the first round heat stage! I had not exactly been feeling great all week as I had come down with a severe case of man flu, but I decided to soldier on as I am just that type of guy - brave, tough, a real soldier.

Apparently not very funny though. It was a bit of a car crash to be honest, and although I take my hats off to the guys who got through (including Tommy Barnes and Emile Gavroche), I didn't really feel that I did myself justice.

But good luck to all of those who went through and back to the drawing board I guess.

Four... Three... Two... One?

Diary of a stand-up comedian Entry #45
Can I get a whoop whoop! I did it! Last night I progressed into the final of the Golden Jester comedy competition! It was a fantastic evening, five great acts, and I am bloody delighted to have made it through!

This competition started back in January, when 150 comedians from across the South East entered. In what was only my 48th gig, I finished a very close second behind Vahid Jahangard.

Chris Blackmore was third on the night, and could be in with a chance of making the final if he is the highest scoring runner-up. I have to say that seeing as Chris is only 17-years-old, he would definitely deserve his spot. I find it hard enough to get up on that stage at 33, so God knows how he feels! Hats off to him.

Special mentions to Katy 'Blossom' Evans and Palan who took fourth and fifth spots.

Alan Sellers was on top form as the MC, but the great Bob Mills stole the show as the headline act. He made it look so effortlessly and was bloody hilarious. His opening line was fantastic:

You guys have paid £6 to watch some new acts tonight, but you shouldn't complain because in six months you won't be able to afford to these guys in concert... because some of you will be out of jobs!

Classic!

But now it is on to the final on December 7, and who knows what might happen then! In July at my first round heat, I finished fourth on the night. Then in my quarter final earlier this month I came third, and my second-placed position last night means that I am starting to see a nice pattern starting to develop here...

No, not that I never bloody win! That hopefully I will take top spot next time. Sometimes I wonder why I bother...!

Two weeks without any practice...

Diary of a stand-up comedian Entry #44
Tomorrow night is my big semi-final in the Golden Jester comedy competition and I have not gigged for nearly two weeks. I had to cancel last weeks gig at The Alchemist due to work commitments, so I will just have to keep my fingers crossed and hope I don't suffer from ring rust.

I've had ring rust before and me and my mate vowed never again...!

Golden Jester semi-final date confirmed!

Bob Mills: Headline act at
the Holiday Inn in 2 weeks

Diary of a stand-up comedian Entry #41
Back in January, 150 acts entered the Golden Jester comedy competition and now only 10 remain - including me! On Thursday, October 27 at the Holiday Inn in Sutton, I will be going up against five other acts in the first semi-final. Two acts will go through from both semi-finals (the second SF takes place on November 22), with the best runner-up also advancing to the December final.

Bob Mills will be the headline act on October 27. Tickets cost £6 from the Great Comedy Nights website, or £7 on the door. The doors open at 7.15pm and the show starts at 8.15pm sharp!

I am through to the semi-finals of the Golden Jester comedy competition!

Diary of a stand-up comedian Entry #39
Last night I came third out of 11 acts to qualify and progress into the semi-finals of the Golden Jester comedy competition. There was a great line-up of comics on the night, with the very funny Darren Walsh taking top spot, and James Alderson taking second.The event took place at the Holiday Inn in Sutton, and being a local gig for me, I had great support with friends and family coming down. It probably swung things slightly in my favour as the audience voted on the acts to go through, but Alan Sellers and the guys at Great Comedy Nights did say they had weighted down the scores to make the result more balanced.

Palan Ns and James Loveridge also progressed into the semi-finals that will take place on October 27 and November 22. Special mention to Sophie Richardson who I thought was really unlucky not to get through.

Roll on the semi-final!

Laughing Horse New Act of the Year - 1st Round Heat confirmed!

Diary of a stand-up comedian Entry #38
I got the nod last night that I have been entered into the Laughing Horse New Act of the Year! This competition has discovered the likes of Jack Whitehall, Russell Kane, and Rhod Gilbert.

My first round Heat will take place at The Goat Tavern in Green Park on November 8.

I am into the quarter-finals of the Golden Jester!

Diary of a stand-up comedian Entry #27

Last night was my first ever comedy competition and I am pleased to announce that I have progressed into the quarter finals of the Golden Jester, coming third on the night overall against some very tough competition.

It was an evening of girl power as India MacLeod and Sarah Callaghan both took the number one and two spots respectively. India in particular, was outstanding. My comedy buddy Raphael Perahia also took part and finished fourth and advances into the next round too, along with Mark Jeary, Ben Jay, and Chris Blackmore. The night was judged by the audience and I will be receiving details of my final score in the next few days!