What have readers been saying about The Drought this month?!

Book reviews for The Drought by Steven Scaffardi...

Amazon Reader Review #23 (Paperback Edition): Brilliant book!!!
Its rare that a book can endear itself to both men & women but I think this is that book! Both my husband and I have read it and both loved it. Its funny but so real and I feel I may have actually learnt something about men, ha ha! I loved that it was laugh-out-loud funny but still could be sensitive. The characters were real and I felt like I knew each one by the end, think everyone has a Jack or Rob in their life. If you want a book that you can read in one sitting, that you can relate to, laugh with and genuinely enjoy then please buy this. Its so worth it. I can't wait for the sequel. Scaffardi is an author who is going to be a household name, and he deserves to be! 5/5 stars

Amazon Reader Review #24 (Kindle Edition): Very entertaining
After a few too many drinks on NYE Dan ends up in yet another argument with his girlfriend of three years Stacey. Dan does what he thinks he best and ends the relationship; but then worries about `little Dan' and how much he will miss regular sex. What follows is a hilarious tale of Dan's exploits around South London with his mates trying to `end the drought'; from bar fights with a female bar tender to getting stupidly drunk and trying to prove himself on the dance floor to mistakenly hitting on a 15-year old, who is out with her mum. This is a very funny light-hearted read. I did find myself laughing out loud to certain parts of the book; which did gain a few sideways glances from other passengers on the train. I also found that certain situations such as `guys like football there isn't any more to it than that' and that there should be a time limit on how long girlfriends can mention boyfriend's mistakes rang very true to arguments I have had with my own boyfriend. The ending is predictable but all in all a very entertaining read. 4/5 stars

Jack's view on... Geoff Shreeves and Gary Neville - the real heroes at the Nou Camp!

If you're a Chelsea fan, chances are you are waking up with a spot of Morning Glory today. I mean, what an absolute night for the boys in blue. Barcelona huffed and puffed, but couldn't blow the house down. Even Messi missed a penalty (footy fact - Messi has now missed 8 out of 33 penalty's. He is just a poor mans Matt Le Tissier!).

But for me, there were two main highlights last night, and no we are not talking about John Terry trying to give Alexis Sanchez some bum love, or the mis-kick from Torres which led to the final goal. For me, the two blokes who put in a real cracking performance were none other than Geoff Shreeves and Gary Neville! First off, you have to take your hat off to Gary Neville for his uncanny performance of Chris Kamara having an orgasm when Torres netted in the 90th! What was he thinking? Unbelievable!

Oh Gary, I bet Andy Gray is turning in his TalkSport grave watching that piece of camp commentary. But not to be outdone, good old "well done" Geoff Shreeves goes and trumps him by crushing a man's dreams live on TV! You couldn't make it up. Poor old Branislav Ivanovic is trying to enjoy his good times, and Geoff cuts him down like a bad habit!

Geoff was on fire! Later on in the programme he interviewed John Terry about his red card and the fact he'll miss the final as well, and then he goes and reminds JT about that penalty miss in Moscow! Geoff and Gary - I friggin' salute you! Roll on the final - I can't to see what they do next!

Jack Chatham is a fictional character from Steven Scaffardi's comedy novel The Drought. 

Introducing Jack Chatham - the man with lad chat!

Jack Chatham is the effervescent, devil-may-care character from Steven Scaffardi's lad lit novel The Drought. Jack is a firm believer in chat-up lines and one-liners when it comes to pulling the girls, and it is often you will here him coming out with gems such as:

"Do you want to come back to mine for pizza and sex? No? Why not? Don't you like pizza?!"

Starting today, Jack will have his own column on this blog site, dedicated to his views and opinions on everything and anything that might be happening in the world. You can view them by clicking here. 

Jack also has his own way of talking to his friends; using a selection of words and phrases unique to him. He might talk with a cockney accent, but these phrases are spoken by Jack, and Jack only! Here is an example of what to expect...

stroke-er [strōk-er, strōk-er]
tr.v. stroked, strok·ing, strokesUse stroker in a sentence
–adjective,
1. Slang a wanker. He's a right stroker 2. to stroke as in the hand movement, but associated with the male genitalia. I stroked one out last night.

big gun [big guhn]
Use big gun in a sentence
1. Slang popular; like in a social hierarchy: Jack is the big gun 2. Informal A group of people who associate regularly on a social basis: The big guns were out in full force tonight

ab-so-lute [ab-suh-loot, ab-suh-loot]
Use absolute in a sentence
–adjective,
1. Slang Highly appealing or interesting; attractive: she is absolute. 2. excitingly appealing; glamorous: an absolute body.

chode [ch-ohd]
Use chode in a sentence
1. Slang a penis wider than it is long. Ollie has a chode

Vagtable Patch [vaj-tuh-buhl pach]
Use vagtable patch in a sentence
1. A very healthy, clean, delicious vagina comparable to vegetables, a common necessity needed to stay healthy. Always plough the vagtable patch!

Randy Van Warmer [ran-dee van wawrm-er]
Use Randy Van Warmer in a sentence
1. slang Play on words of the name of a 1980s American songwriter and guitarist, in this case to describe a condom. That baby ain’t mine – I was wearing a Randy Van Warmer!

Bro Favor [broh fey-vor]
Use bro favor in a sentence
1. Pronounced like the Spanish ‘por favor’, bro favor is an act of goodwill asked of one’s friend. I need a bit of help, could you do me a bro favor?

fugly [thuhg-uh-lee]
Use fugly in a sentence
1. Slang abbreviation for the phrase fucking ugly. Man, that girl is fugly!

splitarse [split-ahrs]
Use splitarse in a sentence
–adjective,
1. Slang A female. Derived from the fact that they possess a split and an arse. Come here you little splitarse!

Lad Lit Book Reviews: The Godfather by Mario Puzo

For anyone who has not even heard of Mario Puzo’s crime epic The Godfather, I would like you to leave this blog immediately! Seriously, just go. Walk out the door. Don’t turn around now. You, my friend, are not welcome anymore! Oh dear, did that really just happen?

Back to matters at hand, and that being the single greatest piece of literature ever written. There you go, I’ve said it. I can’t even begin to express how much I love this book. Even the old saying ‘The book is better than the movie’ doesn’t even begin to do it justice, and I think the screen adaptation is pretty awesome as well!

The Godfather is truly a literary classic. Set against the backdrop of 1940s New York, it remains a timeless tale as Puzo concentrates on the relationship of its main protagonist rather than the era that surrounds them. At the heart of the story is the Corleone family and the criminal underworld in which they are fully immersed in. The characters are wonderfully crafted from the mild-mannered yet powerful head of the family, Don Vito Corleone, to his live-wire eldest son, Sonny, and of course Michael, the cold and calculated reluctant air to the throne. They are seamlessly woven into this brilliant tale of power, murder, and honour.

Controversy surrounded this book upon its publication in 1969 due to the fact that it romanticized the American Mafia and portrayed them as loyal serving men of honour who only killed their own. But my opinion is that just shows that people back then were as quick to jump on the PC bandwagon as they are today. In many ways, this novel was to that era what computer games like Grand Theft Auto are today. It's just a story, and a great one at that. Get over it!

For those of you that have not seen the film or read the book, I won’t spoil it for you. But what I will say is that even though I knew what was coming at the end (I’d seen the film before reading the book), I was still totally blown away with the way Puzo articulates on the page the thrilling finale which takes you by complete surprise.

Each and every character play their part in bringing this together, and the flashbacks to Don Vito's roots in Sicily and his early days as an Italian immigrant in New York, only serve to offer more depth to the background of this family and at the same time offers the reader a greater insight into the man who has ruled over this crime family.

Mario Puzo set the bar enormously high with this book, and I’m not sure any other mafia fictional story has ever been able to come close. Over the years he has brought the characters back to life through a number of sequels and prequels, and for anyone who is a fan of the original, they are well worth a read as well.

Promo Trailer for The Drought: Do Chat-Up Lines Work?

Stand-up comedian Steven Scaffardi explains why chat-up lines are the way to a girls heart and can help you get them into bed! And these lovely young ladies clearly couldn't agree more. Pay attention boys, Scaffardi knows his stuff! For more laddish fun about a guys point of view on relationships, check out Scaffardi's hilarious debut novel, The Drought! Available now at Amazon and all good bookshops.