Characters from The Drought: Pete Crowford

The Drought: Pete Crowford

Imagine a balding geek with a Bobby Charlton comb-over who truly believes he is a hit with the ladies and you have just met in your mind the man known as Pete Crowford.

Pete is one of those strange breed of men who seems totally oblivious to what he actually looks like; believing that a harmless glance from a woman is as good as a suggestion that she wants him bad.

Dan normally finds himself at odds with Pete in the office over the affections of the opposite sex, not that he pits himself up against the bespectacled IT worker. Pete is just so deluded that he will immediately take it as a challenge to win over the fairer sex if Dan so much as happens to be in the same room as a female co-worker.

In order to entertain himself, Dan and Kelly take it upon themselves to make Pete the brunt of many of their office pranks, and normally with hilarious consequences!

Characters from The Drought: Shaila Saxena

The Drought: Shaila Saxena

Meet Shaila: beautiful, exoctic, intoxicating and totally unapproachable. That's right, Shaila is the stereotypical office ice queen and no matter how hard Dan tries, he simply can't crack her. And he has tried everything, believe me! Including the good old Facebook poke, but all that got him was a trip to the HR department.

From the moment Dick's new PA turns up in the office, Dan is besotted. The jet black hair, the coffee coloured skin, her dark alluring eyes, those legs that go on forever - Shaila has got it all and she has very little interest in giving any of it to Dan!

So much so that she hardly knows that Dan exists, going as far as referring to him as Don for the most part. Not that Dan cares, the fact she event thinks she has a name is good enough for him.

Now if only he could find a way of melting the ice...

The Flood due for Christmas release... honest!

After a number of false dawns, I am pleased to announc that I am in the final stages of editing my second novel The Flood, which is a follow-up to my debut lad lit comedy The Drought.

The Flood picks up from the first book and follows the unlucky in love fortunes of Dan Hilles. But this time, instead of the sex drought, Dan has made a bet with friends Rob, Jack and Ollie that he can manage a 'flood' of women and when he makes a bet that he can juggle four different girls at the same time, he opens up another can of hilarious dating disasters.

Due for eBook release in December and a provisional January date for the paperback, I'll be posting updates and sample chapters in the next couple of weeks.

Watch this space!

Street Fighter - the way we hope it all really went down!

Hands up if you remember those wonderful days in your youth when you would spend hours pumping the arcade machine with 20p coins so you could act out the ultimate fight fantasy by taking Ryu or Ken all the way to the final challenge against M. Bison (before he started calling himself Cheryl Cole - back when he wanted to fight to the death, rather than fight for this love)?

And hands up if you remember when Jean-Claude Van Damme and Kylie Minogue ruined that nostalgic memory with that awful film?

Well fret no more, because this wonderful viral video from Robot Chicken has just put paid to that appalling movie with this piece of YouTube genius. Enjoy...!

Characters from The Drought: Dick Mussel

The Drought: Dick Mussel

We've all worked for a boss like Dick. Obnoxious, egotistical, unreasonable and totally annoying. Whether it's the way they sit back in their chairs with their hands linked behind the head in that attempt at a power pose or using words and phrases that make no sense in an attempt to sound smart, this is the boss from hell.

Dick Mussel - or Moo-cell as he insists it is pronounced - is Dan's boss at Maxwell Media; an B2B publishing house. Dick never seems to be happy unless he is making Dan's life a misery and is certainly oblivious to the fact that his name pretty much sums him up perfectly.

As the story progresses and Dan's plight becomes almost unbearable, not only does he have to continue putting up with his boss' demands for more sales reports and quarterly meetings, but there is a secret bubbling under the surface which Dan will regret unearthing the moment it happens!

Characters from The Drought: Grace Ellison

The Drought: Grace Ellison

Grace Ellison is the type of girl mere mortal men dream about. Beautiful, sexy and sassy, Grace could have her pick of the men.

So when Dan gets a chance with Grace, he finds himself in that enviable position of dating a girl way out of his league. Many men have been in this position before and many men have buckled under the pressure. The big question is will Dan be able to take the heat?

During his encounters with Grace in The Drought you'll witness a large consumption of alcohol, dance moves so bad they'll make you cringe, the worst case of amnesia in dating history, and a sausage dog.

It's fair to say that whatever happens, Grace is and always will be the hottest girl ever to give Dan the time of day. She is petite, with full lips and auburn coloured hair in bob cut and pretty little freckles on her nose.

Characters from The Drought: Sophie Pudney

The Drought: Sophie Pudney

When a woman asks you to guess her age, always go lower than what you're actually thinking. Unfortunately for Dan, when he was first introduced to his ex-girlfriend Stacey's best friend Sophie and she asked that very question, Dan went for the truth.

And that pretty much set the tone for their friendship - or lack of - from that moment forth.

Sophie would play no small part in the downfall of Dan and Stacey's relationship; never feeling that Dan was good enough for her best friend and corrupting Stacey to the point where she became a totally different person.

But the story doesn't end there. When Dan breaks up with Stacey on New Year's Day, it's Sophie who starts plotting his downfall, starting with a rather evil attack with the use of her trusty baseball bat. Things don't get much better for Dan after that either...