Lad Lit Book Reviews: The Stag and Hen Weekend by Mike Gayle

I wanted to love this book so much. When I picked it up, I had visions of scenes straight out of The Hangover. After all, that’s what stag do’s are all about right? Boys getting away for the weekend and getting up to no good while their wives and girlfriends are none the wiser. Even Mike Gayle himself described them as “when every weekend had the potential to be the best weekend of their lives.”

The story is split into two – the stag weekend with Phil and his pals, and then his fiancé Helen and her friends. As a reader, you are encouraged to start with whatever story you wished. I opted for the stag weekend. At first I struggled with the six main characters. Apart from Phil and his best man Simon, it was hard to tell who was who, but eventually I got there. But just when I thought the boys were about to get up to some mischief, Phil throws a massive strop and basically spends the entire time away from the lads!

Granted, he ends up spending time with what sounds like a pretty hot ex-pop star called Sanne, but still! This is his stag do! Apart from the boys all wearing Reservoir Dogs outfits (which was a nice touch) and a bit of a scuffle with some lads from Essex, Phil spends his whole time worrying about one of Helen’s exes who has reared his little celebrity head (her ex is a famous DJ). Throw in Phil’s stoner dad who makes a surprise appearance and Phil’s misery is pretty much complete.

The thing is, I actually liked Phil – he seemed like a good guy, but the fact he was in Amsterdam and the most exciting thing he did was go to the Van Gogh museum was a bit bland for my liking. Unfortunately this Phil was nothing like the Phil from The Hangover, and even worse there was not an Alan or Stu in sight, let alone a Doug!

Anyway, the ending of the stag do set up an intriguing cliffhanger so I was keen to find out what was going to happen and read on. The hen weekend was pretty much what I expected. Even though I’d been hoping for some pretty low-level drunken shenanigans with ‘L’ plates, fairy wings, and Playboy bunny outfits, what I got was nice dinners and spas.

This story followed a similar pattern to Phil’s, where Helen has her head turned by Aiden her celebrity ex, who has found out that Helen was throwing her hen weekend at this exclusive hotel and has basically turned up to try and win her back. Just as Phil has his dad, Helen has to contend with Phil’s sister Caitlin who she has never got on with.

And finally...! The ending is weird, or should I say the complete lack of ending. Others have called it open-ended, but I just felt like I’d been rear-ended. Even after everything, I was still flicking through the pages because I thought I might have missed something and I genuinely wanted to know what happened to Phil and Helen.

Overall the book was well-written and the concept is really clever, it just wasn't to my taste like some of Mike Gayle’s other books. I suppose at the end of the day this was more chick-lit than lad-lit and that’s why it didn’t float my boat. Perhaps the other problem was that I read this book immediately after reading Danny Wallace’s Charlotte Street which I really enjoyed, and hit the nail on the head of what I feel lad lit should be. After everything I’ve said, this book probably doesn’t deserve anything lower than 3 stars, but it’s one I’d probably more recommend to my missus than my mates.

Lad Lit Book Reviews: Gazza: My Story by Paul Gascoigne

At a time when English football fans can only look on with envy at the types of players the rest of the world seem to be able to produce, I decided to pick up a copy of Gazza: My Story and wonder what just might have been.

The result was far more frustrating than enjoyable as I found myself shaking my head like a disappointed father more times than laughing at the ridiculous situations Gazza got himself into during a playing career which was wrecked by injury and self destruction.

Paul Gascoigne was the most naturally gifted British player since George Best, and he captured our hearts at Itlalia '90 with his skillful displays and of course those semi-final tears. And despite flashes of brilliance over the next decade or so, Gazza would become more famous for his front page headlines rather than those on the sports pages.

Don't get me wrong, the story is told in that same daft and cheeky tone we all fell in love with in the first place. The one that made it so easy for us to all forgive Gazza far too often. But it's also told in a way that says he's learned nothing. There is no doubt that Paul Gascoigne loves the game of football, but the further I got into this book the harder I found it to feel sorry for him after he continued to screw up one chance after another. 

This book rarely tackles some of Gazza's major problems head-on, and instead much of his antics are painted in a boys will be boys way to almost justify it. The stories are funny, from Gazza climbing into a fish tank at a Rome restaurant to pick which lobster he wanted to eat to stealing a bus and taking all the passengers for a ride! But all the time I just kept thinking 'you should have been the greatest.'

It makes it even harder watching the likes of Cristiano Ronaldo or Lionel Messi (heck, even the Welsh have Gareth Bale!) perform magic on the pitch. We should have those memories of Gazza creating havoc to defences all over Europe. There should be more Colin Hendry ball-flipping-and-volleyed goals for us to look back on. Instead all we are left with are fleeting moments of genius that all seem far too long ago now. These types of players come along once in a generation if we're lucky and we had one, but he just pissed it all up the wall.

What makes it worse is that you're still willing him on throughout the book even though you already know the outcome.I wept along with him in 1990 when he took us to within a penalty shoot out of our first World Cup final since 66. I held my breath when he was inches away from scoring the Golden Goal that would have sent us into Euro 96 heaven. And I was as shocked as any England player when Glenn Hoddle left him out of the World Cup 98 squad.

But at the end of the day, I like my books to have some sort of happy ending, and this book doesn't really have that because of the fact that Gazza is still battling those well-publicised demons.

Lad Lit Book Reviews: Donnie Brasco: Unfinished Business by Jospeh D. Pistone

Donnie Brasco: My Undercover Life in the Mafia is one of my favourite books. The bravery and courage of FBI Special Agent Joseph D. Pistone to remain undercover within New York’s Bonnano crime family for six years was nothing short of amazing, especially when I consider that I’d probably shit myself within about six minutes if I was in the same situation.

That’s the great advantage of books; you get to imagine yourself as that character, and as Donnie Brasco I got to whack wiseguys (that’s killing gangsters for those of you not in the know) and make my bones (badge of honour for killing, not a sexual reference). The one disadvantage of books is sometimes all your questions have not been answered and you want the story to continue.

So you can imagine how keen I was to get hold of a copy of Pistone’s new memoirs which fill in a few of the gaps and the aftermath of that exciting – yet bloody dangerous – period in his life.

What happened to Donnie’s partner in crime Benjamin “Left Guns” Ruggerio? Did they ever find out who killed Sonny Black and stuffed him in a trunk of a car? What was it like for Pistone to face down the bad guys in court who he had spent the best part of half a decade living amongst? Did Pistone go on to infiltrate the cult who are brainwashing young impressionable minds to buy Justin Bieber records?

Pistone says that during the publication of his first novel, he was still appearing in court to give evidence at numerous Mafioso trials. In fact, he was in court more times than Lindsay Lohan! The result was over 200 convictions for some of New York’s most unsavoury Italian-American characters. What it also meant was that Pistone was unable to give a true tell-all account of his time deep undercover.

In the first book, he stressed that he never engaged in any criminal activity due to the fact it would compromise his position as an FBI Agent and could harm his evidence later on. I remember thinking at the time – and to pluck a phrase from the Karl Pilkington phrase book – bullshit! How could you spend six years living in the pockets of the New York underworld and not get involved with a bit of illegal behaviour?!

In Unfinished Business, Pistone is able to go into detail about all the pistol whipping, all the hijacking, and all the ‘whaddya mean I’m funny’ confrontations and bitch slapping! Pistone even goes as far to say that if push came to shove, he would have murdered another gangster if it came down to him or them!

Luckily for Pistone it never quite got to that situation, but what we are able to find out is not only how his undercover operation impacted his case, but how it also impacted the cases of other undercover operations. As New York hoodlum ‘Donnie Brasco’, Pistone was able to add credibility other FBI sting operations by going in and vouching for his fellow undercover agents to other bad guys.

Pistone also uses the book to dispel some of the myths created by the movie (that starred Johnny Depp and Al Pacino). In the film, Depp’s ‘Brasco’ is battles with a guilty conscious about the potential ramifications his undercover operation will have on mobster Ben ‘Lefty Guns’ Ruggerio, but Pistone insists such thoughts never entered his head – he was there to do a job against an ‘enemy to America’ and that is exactly what he did. Screw you Lefty!

Pistone was called to the stand for some of the biggest organised crime trials over the past 20-30 years including the Pizza Connection and the Mafia Commission case. He was still being used by prosecution cases against the mob as recently as 2006 when he took to the stand in the trial of Bonanno boss "Big Joey" Massino.

For me the book is an entertaining read, but only works if you’ve read the first book for obvious reasons. I also think because it is a series of stories, it’s not as enthralling as the first book, but that shouldn’t take the glass off too much.  What is allows is for Pistone and the reader to tie up the loose ends, and to truly appreciate the impact his work had on help bring down the mob. Well done Joe, take a bow son!

Lad Lit Book Reviews: The Accidental Billionaires by Ben Mezrich

It is hard to imagine a time before Google, before YouTube, before Twitter. They have become so ingrained in our psyche. But the one social platform that has become entwined into a normal everyday life more than any is Facebook.

A staggering 71% of the British public log in to Facebook every day, over 1 billion users worldwide have signed up, and it is worth an estimated $15m. That's a lot of people looking at a lot of ex's! Quite impressive for a company that launched in 2005.

But the most impressive fact of all has nothing to do with the size of the audience or the staggering value of a company barely out of nappies. The most impressive fact is that Facebook was created so guys could rate girls based om their level of hotness! That's it! No fancy business plan or 5-year strategy to make that first million. The fact is Mark Zuckerberg created Facebook in his dorm room at Harvard University so we could perv over the girl next door!

In this book from Ben Mezrich - which inspired the Oscar-nominated The Social Network - Zuckerberg is potrayed somewhat as the bad guy; which is probably due to the fact he refused to take part in the project. The story is fused together from a number of interviews and sources; most notably Facebook co-founder Eduardo Saverin and the Winklevoss Twins, who would all end up in bitter legal and court wranglings with Zuckerberg over the ownership of Facebook in the years that proceeded the social networks launch.

Mezrich freely admits that he uses a certain amount of creative freedom when writing his books for entertainment purposes and to 'fill in the gaps'. I've read enough of his books to know that he also likes to follow a certain pattern: super intelligent college kid gets involved with something dangerous or cool, he has a love interest who he inevitably will win over in the end, and there is always a dark or siniister undertone hanging around in background ready to rear its ugly little head.

Mezrich is adept at working with a specific type of main character and creating a world around them that is exciting, sexy, and cool. That environment works when you have a bunch of MIT students taking on the Las Vegas casinos, but it feels a little unbelievable at times in the surroundings this story is set in. After all, this is a story about an internet geek who sat in his dorm room looking at images of girls on his computer screen. Again, nothing wrong with that - we've all been there! But Zuckerberg is a man described in the book blurb as an 'awkward maths prodigy and a painfully shy computer genius' and therefore it's hard to see how this story has been billed as tale of sex, money, and betrayal. Money, yes. Betrayal, ish. Sex, zero.

I think this is a book that probably needed to be written because of the historical importance it plays in modern culture, but I don't think the test subject allows Mezrich to be at his best. It's also the only time (as far as I'm aware) in a Mezrich non-fiction book where the story is not told from the main protagonist so you never feel like you are getting the whole story of what really happened with the invention of a modern masterpiece.

It's a good read, and if you have never read a Mezrich book before then no doubt you will find it enjoyable. But my advice would be after you have read this book, make sure you pick up a copy of Bringing Down the House or Busting Vegas to read Mezrich at his very best.

Lad Lit Book Reviews: The Ghost by Robert Harris

I can’t help but think I should have enjoyed this book more than I did. Don’t get me wrong – it was a good read, but there were one or two things that hold me back from giving this higher praise than I’m about to.

What I’m about to reveal is a bit of a spoiler. It won’t necessarily ruin you reading the book, but I need to reveal it in order to explain my... discomfort whilst reading this book. So here we go...

For some reason the name of the fictional narrator of The Ghost is never revealed, so let’s just call him Bob. When Bob – a professional ghostwriter – is asked to step in to finish writing the memoirs of former British Prime Minister Adam Lang, he jumps at the chance and jets off to the American resort of Martha's Vineyard.

Lang – who is clearly based on ex-PM Tony Blair (Harris even wrote Blair’s memoirs) – is having a bit of a hard time as he is accused of war crimes. On top of all this, Lang's original ghostwriter has mysteriously died so he is not exactly the happiest of bunnies. In amongst all this we meet Lang’s wife, Ruth. Immediately the face of Cherie Blair sprung to mind, which is not something anyone should have to go through.

So here comes the spoiler – Bob ends up sleeping with Ruth/Cherie, which means that midway through the book I had to endure the image of Cherie Blair bumping uglies. And the fact that when reading a book you put yourself into the shoes of the main character meant that image was of me bumping uglies with Ruth/Cherie.

Now can you see my problem?!

Okay, so this is a piss-poor excuse to give for not giving the book a better review, especially when I actually thought it was fairly decent at the end of the day, so I’ll try to put that sorry incident to one side. On the whole this is a pretty decent read. There are some nice twists and turns, but on the whole I found some parts to be quite slow. And the fact we are basically dealing with a couple like the Blairs who are not about to win any popularity contests anytime soon, doesn’t exactly help you endear to them either.

In terms of the plot, Bob starts to grow suspicious of the death of his predecessor, especially when he finds himself surrounded by a few unsavoury yet very powerful people. But try as he might, Bob can’t walk away and as he delves deeper into the mystery, things begin to unravel that will bring him closer to the truth and danger.

Lad Lit Book Reviews! Accardo: The Genuine Godfather by William F. Roemer, Jr

Any man that is nicknamed Joe Batters because he beat two men to death with a baseball bat is probably not the sort of man you want to mess with. Add to the fact that he got his monicker from Al Capone – the most notorious Mafioso of them all – only adds fuel to fire that this is one vicious gangster.

And who else better to tell his story than the one man who tried for years – yet never succeeded – to bring Tony Accardo to justice than former FBI Agent William F. Roemer, Jr. Whilst the likes of Capone and John Gotti will inevitably go down in American folklore as the two most well-known gangsters of the 20th Century, it was men like Accardo who achieved the highest status within their criminal underworld circles as one of the most powerful Mafia bosses in the history of the American Mafia.

For seven decades Accardo, a.k.a. Big Tuna, was embroiled in a life of crime, from his teenage years in street gangs to being recruited as a member of the Chicago Outfit in 1926. Roemer maps out Accardo’s life as a career criminal from his participation in the infamous St Valentine’s Day Massacre to seizing control of The Outfit in the 1940s.

Throughout the book Roemer speaks in a tone of grudging respect for Joe Batters (being a good family man, his foresight to expand the former Capone regime into new territories that greatly increased their power and wealth). but at the same time keeps the reader focused on the fact that this was a ruthless and merciless man, who had murdered his way to the top with some incredibly vicious and torturous methods.

Roemer uses his many experiences with Accardo and The Outfit to try and paint us a picture of how this criminal organization used the great wealth made from the prohibition era to sustain a period of dominance that would see the American Mafia wield power the like they have never seen again. Men like Accardo made that happen, rather than the ‘celebrity’ gangsters that are referenced in popular culture. Mobster Paul “The Waiter” Ricca summed Joe Batters up by saying, "Accardo had more brains for breakfast than Capone had in a lifetime."

This story is not simply portrayed as a ‘Good vs Evil’ story which would have been easy coming from a law enforcement officer who was never able to put one of his biggest nemesis’ behind bars. Instead Roemer takes a more human approach to the murderous men he is writing about; such as detailing their wishes for their sons to never follow them into this life.

In the end Roemer can only reflect on the ground work that the FBI laid in those days to help bring the mob of today to its knees. Men like Accardo will remain infamous through the annals of time, but that part of history that should not be neglected. After all, we are talking about a street thug who was expelled from school at 14 and went on to become leader of one of the most powerful – if not the most powerful – factions of the American underworld, before dying at the age of 86 a free man. Lessons can only be learned from men who rule with an iron fist just like Joe Batters did.

Perhaps not my favourite book about the American Mafia, but certainly worth a read if this is a genre that interests you.

Lad Lit Book Reviews: The Bootleggers by Kenneth Allsop

Imagine wandering into your local with the boys on a Saturday night for that first drink of the day, only to be told that the sale and manufacturing of alcohol had been banned and deemed illegal to do so across the nation. You can almost hear the uproar from the daily Weatherspoon contingent of heavy drinkers, bemoaning the fact that they have nowhere else to spend their job seekers allowance!

I’m not too sure if that is a sad indictment of the fact we rely so heavily on alcohol as part of our social expression, or the fact that we would be well within our rights to rally against the Government to put forward our right to drink Jägerbomb’s when we want!

Whatever the answer, this is what happened in 1920 in the United States when the US Congress enacted a law which did indeed ban the sale and manufacture of alcohol nationwide, and in Kenneth Allsop’s book, he tackles the prohibition era which still remains as popular as ever in film, music, and of course books!

The 13-year ban would play a major role in the rise of the Chicago Outfit headed up by Al Capone, and Allsop not only covers this but also explains the historical and political reasons that led to the ban. Men such as Capone, Johnny Torio, Dion O'Banion and Big Jim Colosimo would seize on the advantage of supply and demand, while law enforcement turned a blind eye as long as they were rewarded. For a law that was created to improve the moral compass of a nation, it backfired spectacularly and simply created a trail of blood that funded street thugs to unimaginable wealth.

This is a good account of the rise of Chicago gangsters, and one that should be able to hold the attention of even a casual reader interested in the subject. Even though Allsop doesn’t shy away from the facts and discusses the frightening actions these men took to clasp Chicago in their grip, he also manages to capture the era through a dry sense of humour which keeps the book moving along at a good pace, and his knowledge on the subject shines through.

I can only really compare this book against the numerous other books I have read on the subject of the American Mafia, and that is the only reason it probably does get higher than a 3-star rating - there are other books I've simply enjoyed more. Due to the fact that the book was written in 1961, Allsop was probably unable to report on some key facts (such as the name and antics of one Joe Kennedy). All in all though, a thorough description of this infamous yet iconic era.

Lad Lit Book Reviews: The Brethren by John Grisham

John Grisham is one of those authors that after you have read one of his books you immediately think: Why the hell haven't I read more Grisham novels! It's a big of a mystery of any Grisham tale, because after putting this book down, I was left scratching my head once again.

Grisham has previously excelled with his gritty courtroom thrillers, but he changes direction in The Brethren. The book branches down two roads; one focusing on three disgraced former judges (the 'Brethren') serving time in a Florida prison, and the second follows US presidential candidate Aaron Lake.

Frustrated by their plight, the three judges continue to weave down a criminal path from the inside, as they pool together their knowledge and cunning to blackmail wealthy men keen to keep their homosexuality a secret. At the same time, Aaron Lake is seen to be maneuvered and manipulated by CIA director Teddy Maynard, who wants Lake in the White House for his own gains.

Lake has a secret though, and the brethren are threatening to destroy that. All the time Grisham perfectly keeps the reader guessing how the two stories will eventually come to a head, and moves along seamlessly at a pace that keeps the two stories entwined. Even when you think you have the answer, Grisham expertly changes direction.

Despite the three main protagonists of the story being somewhat antiheroes, Grisham paints them in a way that keeps them interesting and whilst you might not be able to say you like them, you won't loathe them either, and you'll quickly want to know more about them and this world in which they have conjured up from behind steel bars.

Although this might not be my favourite Grisham book, you can't deny that the man has a bucket load of talent. I did miss the intense courtroom drama that he so brilliantly and effortlessly brings to life on the pages of his novels, but he shows with this story that he is no one-trick pony and is just as adept at writingout of his comfort zone. Now can someone again tell me why haven't I read more Grisham books?

Lad Lit Book Reviews: Bound By Honor by Bill Bonanno

Perhaps a better name for this book should be Boast By Honor. After all, this books boasts that it's 'The fascinating true story of the powerful crime family that inspired the The Godfather.' It also boasts of Mafia ties to the likes of JFK and the Hollywood elite. And Bill Bonanno does plenty of boasting about his own credentials within one of the most powerful crime organisations in American history.

Bound By Honor isn't a bad book, and it's first-hand account of an era that gave their names to New York's Five Families (Lucchese, Bonanno, Gambino, Genovese, and Colombo) is certainly unique. But... having read a number of books on the subject, I can't help but think that old Bill does half try and pour on a large dose of that 'Romanticizing the Mob' cocktail! Honour, tradition, taking care of our own, etc etc.

At the heart of the book there is a good story. The relationship of John. F Kenedy's father, Joe, with the mob is well-documented elsewhere in his role as a prohibition bootlegger, so it comes as no surprise that he might have had close connections with Bill's father, Joseph Bonanno; a man who became one of the most powerful and colourful men in Mafia history.

But the line about 'Two proud men, one named Bonanno, the other named Kennedy, dream of their sons taking over their dynasties-each taking a different, but equally powerful pat...' Fuhgeddaboudit! It all sounds a little too Hollywood for me at times, especially as it implied that Bill was the inspiration for Mario Puzo's Michael Corleone character. Hmmm, hell of a boast there Bill...!

I don't want to keep taking digs at this book, because I did actually enjoy it. It has some fascinating insights into an era of the Mob that will never certainly be seen again (and for good reason!), but they mainly include the stories about Bill's father than they do about him. Tales about the Apalachin meeting, the plot to assassinate fellow crime lords Carlo Gambino and Tommy Lucchese, and The Banana War. In many circles Bill was considered 'too weak' to lead a crime family, and he certainly does not come across as fierce as some of his counterparts.

At the end of the day, I did find this an enjoyable read, but I took a lot things with a pinch of salt. Bill Bonanno seems compelled to try and put his memoirs in the same ilk as The Godfather, when the reality is you only have to read something like Murder Machine by Gene Mustain and Jerry Capeci to realise this image couldn't be any further from the truth! I'd recommend giving it a read if you are interested in that era, but I'm not too sure I'd go around boasting about it.