Jack's view on... Delio Rossi's apology, my fear for his children, and why he should be the new England manager!

 Delio "Rocky" Rossi issued a public apology today for his astonishing touchline attack on player Adem Ljajic, but the nature of his apology has probably left the NSPCC on red alert!

Rossi Balboa, sacked by Fiorentina on Wednesday after lamping Ljajic for sarcastically applauding his decision to substitute him, was responding to his actions at a news conference when he said: "I've made a mistake and I will pay for it. My gesture was ugly, disgraceful and I am very saddened."

Fair enough, it takes a big man to admit he was wrong, but then Rossi came out with this cracking line: "I have never allowed myself to hit anyone, not even my children."

Not even my children. 

What in the blue hell is this guy on?! Is no one else slightly concerned that when you translate what old Sugar Ray Rossi seems to be saying, it comes out as:

"I have never allowed myself to hit anyone, not even my children... and God knows they deserve it the little bastards!"

He then went on to say: "I have never said that I am a a saint but you can ask the children and all the players that I have coached in the past what type of person I am."

Look, there he goes again - ask the children. I don't think so pal, they're probably scared shitless to tell the truth. I bet you have already warned them to keep their mouths shut!

It's just a shame the FA couldn't wait a day or two before naming the new England manager. I bet if they had known Rossi would have been available they would have snapped him up. We could do with someone in the England camp willing to give John Terry a good clumping.

Ooof! Take that John! That's for sleeping with your mates girlfriend and for generally being a massive tool!

He'd be an instant fan favourite!

Jack Chatham is a fictional character from Steven Scaffardi's comedy novel The Drought.