I just went on, and on, and on, and on...

Diary of a stand-up comedian Entry #10
I've been busy trying to set up more gigs at venues other than The Cavendish Arms or The Railway, because in the last three months I've only done five gigs (including last night)! So in the last couple of weeks I have been busy researching other open mic nights, which basically means friend requesting as many other open mic comedians as possible on Facebook and seeing where they gig!

From that I have found these guys called the Comedy Bin who set up various open mic nights across London and I have a few gigs with them in April. Also through Facebook I have found a guy called Steve Roe, who I went to school with, and runs a comedy night called Hoopla in London Bridge, so he has booked me in to his night as well.

So onto last night. I've watched back the video clip and I just went on and on and on for 15 minutes! I was losing the will to live watching it back so God knows what the audience thought last night! The great thing about performing at The Railway over the last couple of months is that I have been able to try out lots of different material...

Granted most of it has been bloody awful, or at least it certainly needs a lot of work, but I should be able to pull out a decent five minutes of material for the upcoming April gigs... I hope!

Call me the Karate Kid of the comedy circuit!

Joke on, joke off: Another night
of comedy in Streatham

Diary of a stand-up comedian Entry #9
Another two-week gap without comedy, but Openmic Matt had invited be back to perform again on the third comedy night at The Railway, so I crammed in plenty of writing and came up with some new gags about the 80s (including my Karate Kid impression), Facebook, mum insults, sex texting, and a bit more.

Some of it worked, but for the most part it needs some touching up. Actually, it needs quite a bit of work! I am also starting to realise that in order to improve I need to start looking around at getting more gigs and performing at different venues. I love The Railway, but I'm not too sure 24 gigs a year in Streatham is going to get me to the Hammersmith Apollo!

But I'm still enjoying it and I've met some really cool people down at The Railway in the last few weeks including Elliot Lerner, Raphael Perahia, Bobby Freeman, and Stu Privett. Here is the video clip from last night...

Lad Lit Book Reviews: Hell in Barbados by Terry Donaldson

It’s one thing if Terry Donaldson experienced what he considered to be Hell whilst he was stuck in a Barbados prison for three years, but that really was no reason to put the reader through the same ordeal of having to read this book. I can honestly say that having read a number of books about people being locked up in foreign prisons that this is by far the worst of the lot.

At the start of this book, Terry Donaldson explains about his early life and how he became to be a relatively successful British TV presenter in the 90s, but succumbed to the evils of drugs (and prostitutes) at which point his life spiraled out of control to the point where he agreed to smuggle drugs out of Barbados and into Britain.

The problem is I took an almost immediate dislike to Terry, and not because he was a drug addict. I’m not here to judge anyone for what they have done in their life, but I will judge them if they are whiney, miserable, and full of as much joy as an eight hour road trip with Victor Meldrew. Terry seems oblivious to the fact that he only has himself to blame, which meant by the time he got to prison I had very little sympathy for him or any of horrors he faced.

The other issue I have is that this book is called Hell in Barbados but compared to some of the other books I’ve read on this subject matter, Terry’s three-year stint was a walk in the park! Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not for one minute saying that a 36-month stretch in a Caribbean clink was a holiday camp (although it is probably is better than a caravan holiday at Butlins), but if you read the likes of In The Shadow of Papillon or The Damage Done, then you really know what hell is like!

And maybe that is the real problem for me. I’ve seen other reviewers give this book four or five star ratings, and rave about how good it is, but I can only presume that is because they haven’t read any other books in the genre. This one didn’t grip me like those other books did, and as Terry rambles on from one thing to the next playing the ‘woe-is-me’ card, all I wanted to do was reach into those pages, give him a slap, and tell him to man-up! He doesn’t even seem to grasp the fact that he is the only one to blame for the predicament he finds himself in. You are almost glad that he ends up facing a bit of hard time!

I never really worked out why Terry went from being a happily married man with a nice car and a four-bedroom house to using crack and heroin, and sleeping with as many hookers as he could get his hands on. Maybe he did explain it but it was lost on me.

I stuck with this book until the very end in hope that it would get better at some stage, but even the riot in the prison seemed tame by comparison to some of the other horrors I have read about in other books, or perhaps by that point I had simply just lost the will to live and didn’t care anymore. Sorry Terry, this one wasn't for me.

Back to The Railway!

Diary of a stand-up comedian Entry #8
So it was back to The Railway this week, and last night I opened up for the second consecutive gig in Streatham Common. I wrote some new material for the gig, including a joke about being on public transport with a dwarf! Check out the video clip and let me know what you think.

The one thing I have noticed though is that I drop the f-bomb alot! So be warned when you watch this clip - I'll have to tone down the language next time!

"His suit is as sharp as his wit!"

Diary of a stand-up comedian Entry #7

So I gave Matt a call after getting card from the Cavendish Arms gig, and he invited me down to perform at his new music and comedy night at The Railway in Streatham Common. The gig took place last night I got a few people to come down to support me and it turned out to be a really good night.

As I walked in I noticed a piece of paper on the tables. I picked it up and there was my name with the description His suit is as sharp as his wit. I've made it I thought!

I opened up the night, and Matt gave all the comedians the option to do 10 minutes plus on stage. Not everything I did was great, but it was only my fourth ever gig, so to do 10 minutes worth of material was pretty cool. I really need to tighten things up, but it gave me the opportunity to try some different things.

But what really made this such a top night was the promoter - Matt in the hat! He doesn't run his night as rigidly or as smoothly as somewhere like The Cavendish Arms, but in a way that is it's appeal and charm. And he also has a pub quiz with cheese! That in itself is worth turning up for!

I'm pleased to say that Matt invited me back again in two weeks so another gig in the bag!

Lad Lit Book Reviews: The Bootleggers by Kenneth Allsop

Imagine wandering into your local with the boys on a Saturday night for that first drink of the day, only to be told that the sale and manufacturing of alcohol had been banned and deemed illegal to do so across the nation. You can almost hear the uproar from the daily Weatherspoon contingent of heavy drinkers, bemoaning the fact that they have nowhere else to spend their job seekers allowance!

I’m not too sure if that is a sad indictment of the fact we rely so heavily on alcohol as part of our social expression, or the fact that we would be well within our rights to rally against the Government to put forward our right to drink Jägerbomb’s when we want!

Whatever the answer, this is what happened in 1920 in the United States when the US Congress enacted a law which did indeed ban the sale and manufacture of alcohol nationwide, and in Kenneth Allsop’s book, he tackles the prohibition era which still remains as popular as ever in film, music, and of course books!

The 13-year ban would play a major role in the rise of the Chicago Outfit headed up by Al Capone, and Allsop not only covers this but also explains the historical and political reasons that led to the ban. Men such as Capone, Johnny Torio, Dion O'Banion and Big Jim Colosimo would seize on the advantage of supply and demand, while law enforcement turned a blind eye as long as they were rewarded. For a law that was created to improve the moral compass of a nation, it backfired spectacularly and simply created a trail of blood that funded street thugs to unimaginable wealth.

This is a good account of the rise of Chicago gangsters, and one that should be able to hold the attention of even a casual reader interested in the subject. Even though Allsop doesn’t shy away from the facts and discusses the frightening actions these men took to clasp Chicago in their grip, he also manages to capture the era through a dry sense of humour which keeps the book moving along at a good pace, and his knowledge on the subject shines through.

I can only really compare this book against the numerous other books I have read on the subject of the American Mafia, and that is the only reason it probably does get higher than a 3-star rating - there are other books I've simply enjoyed more. Due to the fact that the book was written in 1961, Allsop was probably unable to report on some key facts (such as the name and antics of one Joe Kennedy). All in all though, a thorough description of this infamous yet iconic era.

New material and a new opportunity!

New gig: I got carded after my gig at
The Cavendish Arms tonight

Diary of a stand-up comedian Entry #6
I have to admit that the gig a couple of weeks ago was a bit of a blow to the ego. It didn't exactly go according to plan, but the good news is that it didn't put me off either.

Earlier in the week I caught up with Gemma Beagley, who hosts Monday nights at the Cavendish Arms, to ask for a bit of advice. Gemma has been on the open mic circuit since November 2009, and she advised me to write some new material and to avoid doing a whole set on one subject, because if the audience don't like the story you're telling them, you don't really have anywhere else to go.

Trying to write something funny that will appeal to everyone is not easy, and I've realised that most of the time when I'm being 'funny' around my friends, it is because I am taking the piss out of them. It's easy because I already know them - I'm not too sure I'll have enough time to go around each audience member to find out a bit about them before going on stage to carry off that routine.

So I sat down and wrote. I tried to write about every day things, like relationships, having babies, holidays, and a bit of nostalgia. It seemed to go okay, and it certainly felt like it was punchier.

A good friend of mine from university, Ben Righton, also performed tonight. Ben is an actor and uses stand-up to keep himself match fit as he calls it. He did a hilarious set about the personalities of different railway stations, and his stage presence was spot-on as you would expect from an actor. He certainly put me in the shade!

But being with Ben looks like it has got me a new gig. After the show a guy called Matt came up to Ben and gave him his card as he is setting up a new comedy night in Streatham, and said how much he enjoyed his set. He then looked at me and it slowly dawned on him that I had performed as well. It was an awkward moment, I'm not too sure he was going to invite me down, but he handed me his card anyway.

Sod it, I'll take what I can get at the moment!