Sunday, 28 July 2013

Sam Sadler... I salute you, we ALL salute you!

Sam Sadler, Tame the Tiger, YouTube, Sean Walsh World,
I like to think I know a thing or two about the ladies, but I have nothing on Sam Sadler! When it comes to expert advice on how to treat a girl on a first date, or what the best chat-up lines are to use, or even how to defend yourself or how to spot a chav, no one, and I mean no one, is more equipped to offer solid man advice than Sam Sadler. Even Danny Wallace's column in Shortlist magazine doesn't come close!

Sam has recently been popping up on the new Comedy Central show Sean Walsh World, but he has been a YouTube sensation for quite some time now. His channel Tame The Tiger has notched up over one million page views! To put that into context, my channel has picked up 3,538 views. Pathetic, I know!

But how can I compete with a man who knows the secrets of 'How To Persuade A Woman Back To Your House'...?

I can't even begin to tell you how jealous I am of all the people who got a shout out in this video; even Tuddy, who is 'injured and being a bit of a poof!' You only have to listen to the little nuggets of gold that Sam offers his legions of fans to realise this guy really knows his stuff. For example...

"Blonde girls are more dirty" 
They sure are Sam, they sure are!

"If she is anything more than four years younger than you, don't go there" 
Good solid advice there Sam, especially as you're 17 and chatting up 13-year-olds is frowned upon...
"Be nice to her on the dance floor and touch her bum every now and then because girls love that"
I can't believe I've just been nice all these years without any bum touching!

And make sure you check out The Straddler at 2 mins 51 secs when Sam breaks out a dance move that would melt even the coldest of hearts.

But perhaps the best advice Sam offers in this clip - and maybe any clip he has ever made - is when he states, quite categorically, that after dancing with with the dirty blonde girl you have the option to "Knock off one with your bad boy" in the toilets if the moment takes you.

We've all been there, you know, knocking one off in the cubicle of a nightclub as the toilet attendant outside tells anyone that will listen "No splash, no gash" when in reality all we really needed was Sam's advice, so stick your splash up your arse Mr toilet attendant!

But before you ask, I know what you're thinking. You've knocked one off in the toilet before, gone back outside to greet the dirty blonde, and somehow you still manage to screw it up. That's because you haven't followed the golden rule. Don't worry, I'll let Sam explain...

"After that (knocking one out), I do suggest just talking to her. Just say - hey, did you have fun? And then get her digits"

But that's not all. Now it is time to get her home. Like most men, I have often fallen into the trap of asking if the girl would like to come back to mine after meeting her on a night out, but I've stupidly been going about this all the wrong way. As Sam explains, after getting the girls digits you should leave it there and simply go home. Once at home, you call the girl and explain that you've had a little fall, at which point she will race around to be by your side.

I think I'll let you watch the rest of the video clip to find out what happens next, and make sure you follow Sam on Twitter because the comedy, wisdom, and invaluable insight this man will bring to your life will change it forever! What a legend!

Sam Sadler... I salute you, we ALL salute you!

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